This is where my family, my faith, my job, my ministry, my struggles, my joys, my dreams, my ambitions, and everything else get heaped together, all in one pile - my life.
I don’t know how you listen to sermons. I’ll tell you how you should listen to sermons. You should listen to sermons praying. You don’t have to pray out loud while you’re listening. You should just periodically be whispering, “God, do this text in me.” You don’t have to say “do John Piper’s ideas.” Just “do this text in me. Make this happen in me.”John Piper
@ 5:18 PM 0 comments Labels: faith
TWe just discovered Buffalo Wings & Blue Cheese potato chips from Superstore. Truly Amazing! The taste is very real. Very spicy. Very blue cheesy.
It amazes me the flavors “they” can get on chips. It also makes me wonder how they do it. Do they just blend chemicals together till they get a great flavor, discern what it may be, and market it as such?
I vaguely remember my high school science teacher Mr. Reed mixing a bunch of chemicals he happened to have “in the back” with crackers and making us try what was supposed to be an apple turnover - the kind you’d buy at A&W or McDonalds. I think they were good. He told us this is how the fast food restaurants actually make apple turnovers. It’s soo much cheaper if you don’t have to use apples. Apparently.
I’ll still eat the occasional turnover and I think of Mr. Reed every time but I have to convince myself that what I am eating contains real apples. But I digress.
I’d love to see a Discovery Channel series on the process of imparting flavors on foods that are supposed to something other than what they are - like the Buffalo Wings Blue Cheese potato chips. I wonder if they don’t want us to know. That’s probably why I have never seen a show on it.
And now that I think about it once “they” come up with a healthy, nutritious potato chip, one that makes us loose weight, we will never have to eat original food ever again! It seems to me that they are figuring out ways to get any flavor you want on a chip. That could be cool. But that could be gross too. I don’t know if I could eat turkey & stuffing flavored chips, nor tapioca pudding flavored chips. Imagine milk chocolate flavored chips.
Now let’s talk about ice-cream flavors. No lets not. I don’t want to get started on that. But they should include ice-cream in the Discovery Channel series on food invention.
So I’m writing from our little cottage on Silver Star Mountain. We’re spending just under a week at Fairhaven in an attempt at rest and relaxation. We’re been here before so we know this place is conducive to R&R. And being here before, we know to bring a TV & VCR for the kids and my laptop with the rest of season one and the whole of season two of 24.
One thing I did not expect was that I am able to stay connected to the “real” world through Fairhaven’s new wireless access point. I had actually considered “dropping off the grid” or “going dark” - not even connecting at hotspots in Vernon but I can’t resist. I think that the thinking behind my thinking was really: if I could live without a week of internet access, I could wear it as a trophy. I could boast about it. How foolish.
We could debate the pros and cons of internet dependency but I don’t want to go there. I want to now rest and relax. Blogging, surfing, downloading The Office, are great ways to do that.
@ 4:33 PM 1 comments Labels: entertainment, family
I am trying to decide if I am in a good position here. It sure doesn't feel like it.
Our church leadership (my senior pastor, church board and I) are looking to the future. We are asking the tough questions. The questions that make people uncomfortable. The questions that challenge thinking and stretch faith. The questions that shape the mission, direction and purpose of a church. It's an exciting place to be, especially because I believe our leadership and people are really pliable right now. We are ready to hear from God, to make adjustments, apologies if we need to, and ready to be used by God in an unresisted way. This is all good except for a question that has been directed from the board to me. The board has asked me to come up with three or four areas of ministry that I would like to focus on if there were no obstacle. And they want to do everything they can to make those things happen. Essentially, they are asking for me to write up my own job description. They have even used phrases in our meeting like, "you can start with a clean slate" and "tell us what you want to do."
A bit of history: I have shared with the board my tumultuous life/faith journey that I have traveled these last couple of months. I didn't want to tell them and I wasn't going to but there were a series of events that gave me no choice but to be candid. The amazing thing about our leadership is that they are gracious. The stuff I shared would have not been accepted very well had my colleagues shared the same stuff with their boards - mainly that I struggle with my desire to be a pastor, that there is a number of responsibilities that I really loath but that are a part of being a pastor, that I struggle with my own vision and direction for the ministry areas that I am responsible for. So in response, my board has asked me to tell them what I would like to do? What church board does that? That is pretty amazing if you ask me.
But therein lies the difficulty - that amidst the freedom to chose my future at my church, I really have no idea what I want to do. I have no idea what I should be doing. I have no idea what God wants me to do. I do not have an answer to their question.
On one hand, I have the option to 'chose my own adventure' and in church ministry, that's rare. But on the other hand, I have no idea what that looks like. I don't know what I should chose. I don't know where I am most useful. I don't know where I'll find joy or if I will. And really, I don't think finding joy is the point.
I am having a hard time choosing my words because I have an idea of who will read this and being candid, even on this blog, can affect people in more ways than I know. So if you are a friend and you know me well, you can probably guess the mental/heart/faith battle that is raging in me. If you are family, don't jump to too many conclusions. If you are church family, know that I struggle with stuff just the same as you do, I don't know what the future holds, I'm not leaving, and yeah, I could use your support. And if you aren't a friend or don't know me at all, I am curious to know what makes you read my ramblings anyway.
@ 10:19 PM 1 comments Labels: faith, ministry
I took a drive in our old 1990 Honda Accord yesterday (first time since we bought our new Civic) and was surprised by how good it felt. Yeah, it still has a problem with the distributor that I am working on but it just felt good. It wasn't that the seats were still very comfortable, or that the steering and suspension were still tight, or that there was relatively little interior noise for a 17 year old car. No, it wasn't any of that. It felt good because the car was me.
Angela and I are extremely grateful for our new car but despite our gratitude, I have found myself thinking, and have at times said so to Angela, that this new car doesn't feel like our old one did. We really love it but it just doesn't feel the same. And since the drive in the Accord yesterday, I think I know why. I think our pewter (or tan, or light brown car - I never really decided) 1990 Honda Accord EXR became for us a significant part of our identity (or mine at least, speaking for myself). I am not saying that the Accord defined me but it was very much a part of who I was. We had that car for over five years so people got to know that if I were driving somewhere, I'd be driving the Accord. They knew that if they saw the Accord parked at a local establishment, there would be a good chance that Chris or Angela Hiebert was inside. Those that knew me recognized me easily when I was driving that car.
Yesterday, sitting where I have sat for most of my sitting time in the last 5 years, I felt I belonged. I have stared many hours through that windshield. I knew where every button, dial, or lever was in the dark - even the ones that were no longer illuminated like they once were. That car, that Honda Accord was me. It was a part of me. I knew it inside and out. I knew what it smelled like, felt like, sounded like - as if it were an extension of my living body. It was me.
I am still getting used to our new car - it's curves, smell, look, feel, sounds. Our new car is a place of peace for us. Seriously. Our boys love driving and I think it is because they sense that their parents are no longer tense when they drive. They sense that their parents aren't wondering if they are going to make it or not. They sense that their parents are really enjoying themselves. Our new car is great - from the 16" alloy rims to the auxiliary stereo input. I love to drive it. I want to drive it right now. But it just isn't me (yet).
@ 9:54 PM 2 comments Labels: family
