Thanks to my good friend Robby King, I found my latest favorite musical offerings: The Whitest Boy Alive. My favorite song right now is "Don't Give Up" off of their album "Dreams".
Ohhhh sooo gooood!
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
The Whitest Boy Alive
Still beating
My embarrassment grows everyday. I want to post, but I am to busy to post. I feel guilty for waiting so long but then I tell myself that since it's been so long, don't worry about posting now. Then I want to apologize. And then I tell myself that I don't need to apologize cause it's my blog. Well. I guess this is just to tell you that I am still alive. If I don't blog for some time, I'll arrive at this point again and remind the world that I'm alive. If I suddenly go on a blogging rampage, then, well, I guess I don't know it means.
Ah, just rambling. I'm probably more curious than you about what will come next.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Do this in me!
I don’t know how you listen to sermons. I’ll tell you how you should listen to sermons. You should listen to sermons praying. You don’t have to pray out loud while you’re listening. You should just periodically be whispering, “God, do this text in me.” You don’t have to say “do John Piper’s ideas.” Just “do this text in me. Make this happen in me.”John Piper
Treasuring Christ Together Because He Is More Valuable Than All Else
Desiring God Sermon Audio - Podcast
Flavor Discovery
TWe just discovered Buffalo Wings & Blue Cheese potato chips from Superstore. Truly Amazing! The taste is very real. Very spicy. Very blue cheesy.
It amazes me the flavors “they” can get on chips. It also makes me wonder how they do it. Do they just blend chemicals together till they get a great flavor, discern what it may be, and market it as such?
I vaguely remember my high school science teacher Mr. Reed mixing a bunch of chemicals he happened to have “in the back” with crackers and making us try what was supposed to be an apple turnover - the kind you’d buy at A&W or McDonalds. I think they were good. He told us this is how the fast food restaurants actually make apple turnovers. It’s soo much cheaper if you don’t have to use apples. Apparently.
I’ll still eat the occasional turnover and I think of Mr. Reed every time but I have to convince myself that what I am eating contains real apples. But I digress.
I’d love to see a Discovery Channel series on the process of imparting flavors on foods that are supposed to something other than what they are - like the Buffalo Wings Blue Cheese potato chips. I wonder if they don’t want us to know. That’s probably why I have never seen a show on it.
And now that I think about it once “they” come up with a healthy, nutritious potato chip, one that makes us loose weight, we will never have to eat original food ever again! It seems to me that they are figuring out ways to get any flavor you want on a chip. That could be cool. But that could be gross too. I don’t know if I could eat turkey & stuffing flavored chips, nor tapioca pudding flavored chips. Imagine milk chocolate flavored chips.
Now let’s talk about ice-cream flavors. No lets not. I don’t want to get started on that. But they should include ice-cream in the Discovery Channel series on food invention.
R&R
So I’m writing from our little cottage on Silver Star Mountain. We’re spending just under a week at Fairhaven in an attempt at rest and relaxation. We’re been here before so we know this place is conducive to R&R. And being here before, we know to bring a TV & VCR for the kids and my laptop with the rest of season one and the whole of season two of 24.
One thing I did not expect was that I am able to stay connected to the “real” world through Fairhaven’s new wireless access point. I had actually considered “dropping off the grid” or “going dark” - not even connecting at hotspots in Vernon but I can’t resist. I think that the thinking behind my thinking was really: if I could live without a week of internet access, I could wear it as a trophy. I could boast about it. How foolish.
We could debate the pros and cons of internet dependency but I don’t want to go there. I want to now rest and relax. Blogging, surfing, downloading The Office, are great ways to do that.
Monday, November 05, 2007
Envyable or Unenvyable?
I am trying to decide if I am in a good position here. It sure doesn't feel like it.
Our church leadership (my senior pastor, church board and I) are looking to the future. We are asking the tough questions. The questions that make people uncomfortable. The questions that challenge thinking and stretch faith. The questions that shape the mission, direction and purpose of a church. It's an exciting place to be, especially because I believe our leadership and people are really pliable right now. We are ready to hear from God, to make adjustments, apologies if we need to, and ready to be used by God in an unresisted way. This is all good except for a question that has been directed from the board to me. The board has asked me to come up with three or four areas of ministry that I would like to focus on if there were no obstacle. And they want to do everything they can to make those things happen. Essentially, they are asking for me to write up my own job description. They have even used phrases in our meeting like, "you can start with a clean slate" and "tell us what you want to do."
A bit of history: I have shared with the board my tumultuous life/faith journey that I have traveled these last couple of months. I didn't want to tell them and I wasn't going to but there were a series of events that gave me no choice but to be candid. The amazing thing about our leadership is that they are gracious. The stuff I shared would have not been accepted very well had my colleagues shared the same stuff with their boards - mainly that I struggle with my desire to be a pastor, that there is a number of responsibilities that I really loath but that are a part of being a pastor, that I struggle with my own vision and direction for the ministry areas that I am responsible for. So in response, my board has asked me to tell them what I would like to do? What church board does that? That is pretty amazing if you ask me.
But therein lies the difficulty - that amidst the freedom to chose my future at my church, I really have no idea what I want to do. I have no idea what I should be doing. I have no idea what God wants me to do. I do not have an answer to their question.
On one hand, I have the option to 'chose my own adventure' and in church ministry, that's rare. But on the other hand, I have no idea what that looks like. I don't know what I should chose. I don't know where I am most useful. I don't know where I'll find joy or if I will. And really, I don't think finding joy is the point.
I am having a hard time choosing my words because I have an idea of who will read this and being candid, even on this blog, can affect people in more ways than I know. So if you are a friend and you know me well, you can probably guess the mental/heart/faith battle that is raging in me. If you are family, don't jump to too many conclusions. If you are church family, know that I struggle with stuff just the same as you do, I don't know what the future holds, I'm not leaving, and yeah, I could use your support. And if you aren't a friend or don't know me at all, I am curious to know what makes you read my ramblings anyway.
90 Accord vs. 07 Civic
I took a drive in our old 1990 Honda Accord yesterday (first time since we bought our new Civic) and was surprised by how good it felt. Yeah, it still has a problem with the distributor that I am working on but it just felt good. It wasn't that the seats were still very comfortable, or that the steering and suspension were still tight, or that there was relatively little interior noise for a 17 year old car. No, it wasn't any of that. It felt good because the car was me.
Angela and I are extremely grateful for our new car but despite our gratitude, I have found myself thinking, and have at times said so to Angela, that this new car doesn't feel like our old one did. We really love it but it just doesn't feel the same. And since the drive in the Accord yesterday, I think I know why. I think our pewter (or tan, or light brown car - I never really decided) 1990 Honda Accord EXR became for us a significant part of our identity (or mine at least, speaking for myself). I am not saying that the Accord defined me but it was very much a part of who I was. We had that car for over five years so people got to know that if I were driving somewhere, I'd be driving the Accord. They knew that if they saw the Accord parked at a local establishment, there would be a good chance that Chris or Angela Hiebert was inside. Those that knew me recognized me easily when I was driving that car.
Yesterday, sitting where I have sat for most of my sitting time in the last 5 years, I felt I belonged. I have stared many hours through that windshield. I knew where every button, dial, or lever was in the dark - even the ones that were no longer illuminated like they once were. That car, that Honda Accord was me. It was a part of me. I knew it inside and out. I knew what it smelled like, felt like, sounded like - as if it were an extension of my living body. It was me.
I am still getting used to our new car - it's curves, smell, look, feel, sounds. Our new car is a place of peace for us. Seriously. Our boys love driving and I think it is because they sense that their parents are no longer tense when they drive. They sense that their parents aren't wondering if they are going to make it or not. They sense that their parents are really enjoying themselves. Our new car is great - from the 16" alloy rims to the auxiliary stereo input. I love to drive it. I want to drive it right now. But it just isn't me (yet).
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Another Update
So here is another one: I haven't blogged in a while so I feel the need to write an update to release the weight of all that I have not written, bringing the freedom to write again. This time, I'll start with right now and work my way back in time. . .
- Today is Halloween. We carved our first pumpkin. Went trick or treating for the first time as a family (and for the first time in my life). Mackenzie was a bee. Lukas was a puppy. Very very cute!
- Yesterday was a board meeting focused on my future (hopefully I will get to writing about this specifically).
- Monday October 29 - I drove to Oroville WA to pick up a part for my Honda Accord. It still isn't fixed.
- Sunday October 28 - Angela and I met with the organizers of a missions trip to Guatemala. We are leading the team into the field in March. All four of us are going. This is pretty significant for us, as you can imagine.
- Saturday October 27 - We attended our first ever, in our lives, Halloween party.
- Monday October 22 - We were visited by Marc & Dixie Vandersluys. Marc is a childhood friend that I connected with through blogging (and I blogged about it a loooong time ago)
- Sunday October 21 - We finished (formed). (formed) is the name for a junior high youth retreat that I was a part of planning and putting on. It started on Friday for the kids but months ago for me. This is a post or two in itself. At this point, I'll just link to the video I shot, edited and posted to youtube which is a highlight of the weekend.
- Saturday October 13 - Console Gaming Day at the church. I wanted to blog about this and whether or not Halo 3 and such video games should be a tool youth pastors use in ministry.
- Thursday October 11 - Left for a three day trucking trip that I didn't want to go on. I hate being away from my family. My boss broke his nose, I agreed to help him out, and heck, the pay is good.
- Monday October 8 - Thanksgiving day. My parents came over and we ate turkey, surprise. A good meal is always worth writing about.
That brings me to my last post. There were significant happenings that took place before my last post that I didn't write about. Most notably, we bought a new car. A 2007 Honda Civic LX. We are very pleased with our new wheels. So far, averaging 38 Mpg while topping out at 42 Mpg. I am expecting it to increase.
So right now, I am just pleased that I came up with a post. A good blogger will also add pictures. That is asking too much of me right now. I think Angela has been keeping up on her blog. You can check there for pics.
Monday, October 08, 2007
God gave me a hug today
I had a hard time in this morning's service. Perhaps it didn't help that since I awoke, I was plagued with "what's the point of all this anyway" thoughts about my role as pastor and worship leader in our church. My senior pastor asked me on Thursday that Chris Rice's song: "Untitled Hymn (Come To Jesus)" would be an appropriate song to close our Sunday service with. Because I knew where he was going with the sermon, I agreed. As soon as I did though, a battle began.
If you know this song, you know it is a good, powerful song. Chris' choice of instrumentation and arrangement help make this song what it is. His choice of instruments are none that can be found in our congregation, however. My options? Sound track - absolutely not. Learn the song on piano - maybe but I can kiss my weekend good-bye. Play it on guitar - I guess so because all the other options are worse.
I don't do solos very often and I don't like to finger-pick in public, and I certainly don't do solos while finger-picking my guitar. I don't know if I could really convey how stressful this is for me but I soldiered on and spent time with the song over Friday and Saturday.
To add to this weight, there's this lady in our church who is a professional singer. She is a vocal teacher and a performer. She is amazing! She has a good deal of fame around here. I teach her son guitar and she coaches me vocally in trade. I definitely have the better end of the deal by a long shot but I really enjoy playing and hanging out with her son. This lady is Angela's very close friend too. And she performed this exact song in our service about a year ago with a piano player and a violist, if my memory serves. A moving performance. Lot of tears. And I knew she was going to be in the service.
Now, I know it's not about pleasing people and being amazing, but I am being transparent here. These are some of the things that I battle through leading up to the very moment I play the first note and all throughout a song.
To my standards (I am a perfectionist, remember), I really disappointed myself with how I sang and played the song. Yeah, I know that this is not the point but I gotta give you the back story. . .
I didn't really look at people while singing and afterwards, I just looked down so I have no idea what it did or what it meant for people.
My senior pastor came up to close and pray and I actually schemed that if I could sneak out the side exit without talking to someone, I would race home and hope no one would notice. I even justified that I've never done something like this before and I must be allowed to sneak out every once in a while.
As I was thinking this and with the prayer now over, the mom of one of my friends races to me, on the stage, and says "I sense you need a hug." She gave me a long squeeze, looked at me with tears in her eyes and said again, "I felt you needed a hug." As quickly as she came, she turned and left. That was it.
God gave me a hug today.
I stuck around. It was good. I was encouraged by others and I think I was able to encourage others too.
My mind, heart and soul want to construe the happenings of the last couple of days surrounding this song in a hundred different ways. But all I can come back to is that God gave me what I needed today - a hug.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
So which is it?
Could it be that my prayer for wisdom, or that God would fix our car, or that He'd miraculously give us a new one, or that he would "fix" our situation, comes out of a heart of doubt rather than trust?
Through this little trying time and really all throughout our dark summer, we've been trying our best to trust God. We have asked a million times: "what does it mean to trust God?"
So Angela and I read this passage this morning:
John 7 (The Message)
1-2 Later Jesus was going about his business in Galilee. He didn't want to travel in Judea because the Jews there were looking for a chance to kill him. It was near the time of Tabernacles, a feast observed annually by the Jews.3-5His brothers said, "Why don't you leave here and go up to the Feast so your disciples can get a good look at the works you do? No one who intends to be publicly known does everything behind the scenes. If you're serious about what you are doing, come out in the open and show the world." His brothers were pushing him like this because they didn't believe in him either.
6-8Jesus came back at them, "Don't crowd me. This isn't my time. It's your time—it's always your time; you have nothing to lose. The world has nothing against you, but it's up in arms against me. It's against me because I expose the evil behind its pretensions. You go ahead, go up to the Feast. Don't wait for me. I'm not ready. It's not the right time for me."
9-11He said this and stayed on in Galilee. But later, after his family had gone up to the Feast, he also went. But he kept out of the way, careful not to draw attention to himself. The Jews were already out looking for him, asking around, "Where is that man?"
It's odd to say but it was really Eugene's comments about this passage that spoke to me:
Unbelief is impatient with God's ways. The counsel of Jesus' brothers stemmed not from their trust in him, but from their doubts about him. But Jesus will not be hurried, and he will not be pushed.If Mr. Peterson is correct, than there is a good chance that when we approach God and ask Him to come through on our prayers, it may be because we don't actually trust Him - like the disciples in the passage. We doubt he is able and we approach him with a "cummon, I gotta see it, show me what you got" attitude, like the disciples in the passage.
A Year With Jesus: Daily Readings And Meditations by Eugene H. Peterson
What does that mean for us right now with our car and making it through life in general? I think it means that to trust is to wait on His timing. There's no hurry to figure it all out or fix everything. It's kind of odd but there is a sense of peace that comes with it.
So today I pray as Eugene Suggests:
Do it your way, Jesus, and in your time. Give me the gift of patience to wait, the gift of courage to persevere, and the gift of faith to believe that you do all things right. Amen.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
junkyard
When we pull into the driveway of the house we rent, my 1980 Yamaha Virago and VW Westy of the same year, are there to greet us. Both have been parked there for over a year. If I park the church van in the driveway, my yard closely resembles a junkyard. Almost every time we pull in, I say something to Angela like: "I wish I could just get rid of that bike and/or VW van." I mean it half of the time.
See, at one time, all I could think about were motorcycles. Two of the three bikes I've owned in my life were given to me outright, including my current Virago. But I don't think about bikes all that much anymore. Especially since I made the decision not to insure it. This was a tough decision made easy because of my commitment to my wife and kids. No problem. I can deal with that. I just wish I didn't have to see it every time I came home.
And the VW van - once a dream. Since it broke down last summer, it has served as a storage locker with wheels. We love camping but have not done so since that fateful July day in the Roger's pass.
So, these two vehicles serve as a daily slap in the face. They are reminders that I don't earn enough money to get either on the road.
Now I can add a third vehicle to the junkyard collection: our 1990 Honda Accord EXR. Yeah, we did just got it fixed (again) but now it's not running reliably and I fear it will not make it home if we decided to leave the yard.
So we are grinding through the decision to lease or buy and it seems like leasing is our only option right now. I wish it weren't so. Even if I could sell my bike, I can't sell the van cause I am only part owner. The new parts on my car are worth more than what I could get for it at a junkyard.
Ideally, I'd like to drive home to an empty driveway in a newer Civic or Mazda 3 Sport. It's just not that easy. I've been challenged lately by Marc's and Sheldon's thoughts on these issues and wonder where I fit in with "wanting more" and "living the easy like."
I don't really know what I am saying by this post. I'm just a little frustrated with our life situation right now. We don't know what to do about car stuff. We can't really afford much. And we don't know what it means to trust God either. I wish it was as easy as trading 3 defunct vehicles in for one that works and is reliable.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
SK
I like Saskatchewan but not today. And not the day 'it' happened.
Not quite a year ago I replaced our windshield in our 1990 Honda Accord EXR (the EXR only means something to people who have owned or are otherwise well versed in Accords). A stone chipped the windshield 2 Christmases ago when we were on our way to Saskatchewan. Mackenzie bumped his head on the windshield while playing in the front seat and sent cracks flying out in all directions from that chip. So we replaced it.
This August, we headed to Saskatchewan for the first time since the new windshield. I was nervous we'd have a head on collision with a flying stone. I was especially nervous navigating the gravel roads (very few of those here in BC) so I would slow for oncoming traffic. After a week or more in Saskatchewan, I finally eased up and forgot about it. Yeah, you know where this is going . . .
On the way to the farm from Swift Current, down Highway 43, I passed a semi with two grain trailers and an airborne stone following close behind. The semi stayed on the appropriate course down the road but the stone did not. It decided to head my direction, but not for long because once it collided into the center of my windshield, it decided to go somewhere I couldn't see because my gaze was frozen on the sight of the one and a half in spider crack it left behind. I hate Saskatchewan.
We left for home shortly after this incident. I thought I would check in Swift Current for a place that could fix it. Turns out that it takes about an hour and we wanted to get going to meet friends in Calgary that night.
Well, I thought of doing it in Calgary but wanted to get home. Then I thought I'd get it done at home and then wanted to go to bed. Then I thought of doing it the next day but our car died on us. I thought thought that if this was truly the end of our car's life, I would never have to fix it. Then it only cost a few hundred dollars to get the car to work again. Then, when I was bringing it home, I thought I could get the chip repaired but I was hungry and wanted to go home for supper. Then the next day I was too busy. Then the day I decided I would get it done, I got in the car and saw faint shiny lines escaping from the chip. Too late. I hate Saskatchewan.
I'm not going to fix it. Ever. Our car has 412,000km on it and I feel it's not worth putting a new windshield on a old dying car. New wine in old wineskins comes to mind. It's biblical.
Really, I don't hate Saskatchewan at all. It just feels better blaming Saskatchewan for my broken windshield rather than my inability to be responsible and fix something I know I should have fixed right away. Ok, it doesn't feel any better at all.
So go to Saskatchewan. Really. It's beautiful and full of wonderful people. Just don't expect your windshield to make it home without a scratch.
And know I think of it, if I were riding my motorcycle, I'd hate dentists. But it's already too late for that.
1 Year
A year ago today I started this blog. I've only blogged 93 times. That's about 1 post every 4 days. That's sure not many. I think there were 2 one month stints that I went without posting much of anything.
I don't know what any of this means. . . I'm just doing some math and throwing a party.
Party's over.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Boip
Presently (I like that word - it's in a bunch of Mackenzie's "Thomas The Tank Engine" books), I am watching "The Bourne Supremacy" (and I am using that word in context because I am actually, right now, watching the movie as I type). I watched "The Bourne Ultimatum" the other day and a few days before that, I watched "Bourne Identity." What I've noticed about this movie, and any current action movie for that matter, is all the crazy sounds that accompany various electronic devices. You have the cell phones that "beep" and "blip" with every keypress and text message, you got all the high tech gadgets that do many amazing things. These gadgets "deet" and "boip" as they do their tech job. Then you have computers which "zip", "tick", "zeet", and "buzz".
It's Bourne's latest internet search that got me thinking: He's searching for a dude named Neski. Imagine your typical google search. Imagine your computer playing a sound effect for every keystroke. Imagine a "blip" when you press enter. imagine a "bloip" as the results are displayed. Imagine a "dint" when you click on a link. Another "bliop" as the results are displayed again. Then you start scrolling . . . "tick tick tick" as the text scrolls on the screen.
Do these sound effects really make a movie more entertaining? Would a normal, soundless search be boring?
I am thinking that most people find similar sound effects annoying. One of the first things I do when I get a new computer is disable most of the sounds.
And that's what I find disappointing about great movies - the unrealistic sound effects. That and actors drinking out of empty coffee cups . . .
Monday, August 27, 2007
Hair Care
I quit using conditioner about a month ago. It has changed my life. Well, not really. All it has changed is that Angela has to buy conditioner less often.
It was kind of an experiment to see if I really needed to use it. I don't.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Mac(k) Daddy
I now have a macbook and I guess I am blogging about it cause it's fun to try doing things I'm used to doing on a PC.
Turns out this experience is pretty much the same. In that case, I'll sign off until I find something useful to say.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Read More
So, I added some code to my blog a long time ago that allowed me to post only the summaries of posts and then the reader could click on a link and read more if they wanted too. Well, I haven't been keeping up to date with my own blog and realized that something has gone wrong and no matter what I do, the "Read More" link shows up on posts whether there is more to read or not. So don't be confused.
I'll have a look at the problem soon but in the meantime . . .
He's got me pegged
I'm reading The Genesee Diary: Report from a Trappist Monastery by Henri Nouwen. It's his diary of his seven months spent at the monastery. I'm blown away at how much I parallel his thinking, feeling and experiences. Here are some statements he makes and questions he asks (we'll the ones I resonate with, anyway):
"What was turning my vocation to be a witness to God's love into a tiring job?" p. 13.
"Maybe I was slowly becoming a prisoner of people's expectations instead of a man liberated by divine promises." p. 13.
"While complaining about too many demands, I felt uneasy when none were made." p. 14.
"Is there still a point where my life is anchored and from which I can reach out with hope and courage and confidence?" p. 14.
"Why do I always want to read about the spiritual life and not really live it?" p. 27.
"I think that most of my fatigue is related not to the type of work I do but to the fragile tensions I put into it." p. 37.
"The more my mind broods, the farther away from God and neighbor I move." p. 47.
". . . right under the threshold of my "bravery," there is a tremendous insecurity and self-doubt that is easily triggered and laid bare by a small event." p. 52.
So, I've kinda been living within a shadow in the last couple of months. Through conversations and even Nouwen's book, I have been encourage to find the shadow's edge and step into the light. I'm working on it . . .
Clapping and #2
Mackenzie was clapping his hands over his head this morning at breakfast. No big deal, right? Well, Angela says: "good job on clapping over your head, Mackenzie! Shows it's time that we start going to the potty now!" (yeah, despite a previous posts we haven't been working too hard on this skill with Mackenzie).
Turns out that "they" say when a child can clap their hands over their heads, they are ready to be potty trained. I am only left to wonder how a connection can be made between clapping skills and potty skills.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Recap
I'm thinking that if I recap the last month or so, I'll find more freedom to blog more consistently and more often. I think that if I cover the basics of my life's happenings in the last while, I won't be haunted by the "shoulda's" (I shoulda blogged about this, and I shoulda blogged about that.) Without further adieu:
June 26 - Today is my birthday. 29 I am.
June 25 - Finished reading A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson. A must read.
June 24 - I took Mackenzie for a bike ride on the Trans Canada Trail near here. He slept through most of it.
June 21 - Mackenzie and I attempted a night out in the VW van. We didn't make it
June 18 - I arrived home from my week long trip to California. My friend Terry and I took a load of very expensive horses to Las Angeles. 5500 km in 3 days. It was fun, exhausting, and I missed my family7.
June 12 - I left for Calgary. Unloaded Wednesday. Picked up the horses early on Thursday, and then straight through to LA.
June 11 - Lukas' close encounter with our coffee table. Lots of blood. Good photo opportunities.
June 10 - Mackenzie turned 3 years old.
June 5 - Lukas turned 1 year old. Angela and I celebrated by going to see Pirates 3 (give me a break, Lukas was sleeping when we left for the theatre)
June 4 - Angela's parents headed home after a good visit.
June 3 - Actionfest service in the park. I led a sweet band. We led worship for some 300 people in Memorial Park in Summerland. The morning was good. The weeks leading up to it - not so good.
June 2 - Local Parade. The first time Mackenzie enjoyed a parade. The only thing that scared him was the giant dog.
June 1 - Epic bike ride up and down Giants Head Mountain. (Epic for me)
May 31 - Angela's dad arrived. I am not totally sure this was the day but it was close. He came later because he had to finish seeding.
May 30 - Finished The Life And Times Of The Thunderbolt Kid by Bill Bryson. A funny, light-hearted read.
May 29 - Arrived home after taking a pile of Jr. High kids to YC Alberta in Edmonton.
May 28 - Met up with an old friend from High School, James Reed. We spent the day at West Edmonton Mall and James came up to meet me. Good times
May 27 - Angela turned 30. I wasn't at home to celebrate :-(
May 24 - Left for YC Alberta. Turned out to be the best time I've had at a conference with youth. Nothing super spiritually significant but good none the less. The bands were really good this year. I enjoyed David Crowder, United, Lincoln Brewster, Leeland, Delirious?, and after missing the first quarter of the Toby Mac show (I fell asleep), I was rather entertained (surprise surprise).
May 22 & 23 - A couple of funerals for church family members.
May 21 - Good friends, Anthony & Amanda, came for a visit. Very refreshing. Good catching up.
May 20 - Angela's mom arrived for a good visit.
May 19 - A day of quadding/4x4ing. Soo much fun. We didn't kill ourselves.
May 18 - Finished The Long Walk by Slavomir Rawicz. The story of how a bunch of guys escaped a prison camp in Yakutsk and walked to British India. Intense.
May 17 - Recycling day. We like recycling day.
May 16 - Arrived home from a quick trucking trip to Calgary.
May 14 - Last post on my blog before this one.
Monday, May 14, 2007
It's gone
The span between this post and my last post is definitive proof that the novelty of the internet has finally warn off...
My first introduction to the internet was in the high school computer lab. All I used it for back then was to find guitar tabs of the songs I was into. I think all web stuff was mostly text based back then.
In my first year of college, my parents got a computer and hooked up to the net via dial-up. I don't really know why they wanted internet because they didn't really know much about it or have a need so it may have been my influence.
Angela and I were married in 1998 and we didn't have a computer so we would head down the street to my parents house if we ever needed anything. I think it was shortly after we were married that we signed up for our first address - a hotmail address that we still have to this day.
We finally purchased our first computer in 2000. We needed one for the work we were doing and for school. I hooked up to the net via dial-up and I became a new person. I was a data hog, downloading any and everything I could get my hands on. I became addicted to online gaming spending many sleepless nights trying to pick off people I didn't even know with the M-21 sniper rifle (can anyone guess which game?)
During this time, my friends that lived in other towns started connecting via broadband. I shortly became jealous but there was nothing I could do because broadband wasn't offered in our town.
We didn't hit the jackpot of available bandwidth until we moved to Summerland 5 years ago. I believe the first phone call after we arrived was to Shaw to get them to come out and hook me up. I couldn't wait any longer.
I've gone through all sorts of phases of internet usage from downloading movies, to gaming, to surfing for all sorts of stuff I didn't really need to look for, to instant messaging and on and on. I guess the latest two things I have really been into are were blogging and more recently Facebook. I really don't have a desire to keep up on either anymore. I mean, it's nice to reconnect with old friends and see what everyone is up to but I don't really want to put forth an effort. And, I don't have a lot of time to blog but I think that if I really wanted to blog, I'd find the time.
So where does that leave my blog? I dunno. I like having it here and I do like writing every once and a while and I like getting feedback but for right now, all I can say is don't expect too much. Feel free to check back from time to time and see what's going on but you may find grand lapses in time between posts. I may get a second (or third or fourth) wind so you never know, there might just be a pleasant surprise awaiting at your next return.
And where does that leave my relationship with the internet? It's now a tool. I need it for stuff. I need it to keep in touch with people. I need it to watch TV. I need it to check the forecast. I need it to find fixes when something screws up. I need it to buy things. I do check my emails from time to time but the novelty of that has warn off too. I can leave my laptop at home without giving it a second thought whereas a few years ago, every second thought was: "I wonder if I have any email since I checked it 30 seconds ago."
I don't know how to end this post. I'm trying too hard to be clever. So, until the next post, have a pleasant day/night or whatever it is for you.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Brilliance
Mackenzie: "Daddy, we go camping in the VW Van?"
Daddy: "That is a great idea but the VW Van is broken."
Mackenzie: "Oh, VW van need a new engine?"
Daddy: "Yes, the VW Van needs a new engine."
Mackenzie: "Um, how bout we take Honda car engine out and put Honda car engine in VW Van, Daddy?"
Daddy: "Hmmm, I never thought of that idea."
For the next church meeting
Angela sent me this good one from Henri Nouwen:
The Virtue of Flexibility
Trees look strong compared with the wild reeds in the field. But when the storm comes the trees are uprooted, whereas the wild reeds, while moved back and forth by the wind, remain rooted and are standing up again when the storm has calmed down.
Flexibility is a great virtue. When we cling to our own positions and are not willing to let our hearts be moved back and forth a little by the ideas or actions of others, we may easily be broken. Being like wild reeds does not mean being wishy-washy. It means moving a little with the winds of the time while remaining solidly anchored in the ground. A humorless, intense, opinionated rigidity about current issues might cause these issues to break our spirits and make us bitter people. Let's be flexible while being deeply rooted.
Daily Meditations
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Technology
A lot has been happening in our lives in the broad area of home technology and appliances.
Two weeks ago, our washing machine decided to deposit oil spots on our clothes. Since our dryer was a fire hazard (the switch broke to the door so you could open it without it turning off AND the dryer quit shutting off on its own!) so we bit the bullet and bought a new washer and dryer. Not a cheap venture and thankfully, a few people felt our need and pitched in to help cover the cost! Thanks sooo much! And now, washing clothes is a riot! We didn't realize that clothes only took 20min to dry! It was taking us an hour and a half.
Then, I soft-modded my Xbox two days ago. Woooot! I have evolutionX and Xbox Media Centre running on it now. For those that don't really know what this means, now I can watch DVDs, watch video files that are on my home computer (over the network), listen to music stored on my home computer, play video games from the past like any Nintendo or Super Nintendo game, and much more! All this stuff was not possible before the mod. I am still tweaking and having much fun with it. We still gotta get together and do some gaming, Doug. Do you still have that Lego Star Wars game? I'd like to borrow it. And what was Charmaine's favorite game?
I bought a used mountain bike yesterday. I am excited to ride! I want to get in better shape, using the car less and just having fun in the hills. We want to get the hitch for our stroller to make it into a trailer but we'll have to wait until Lukas is a little bigger. Shouldn't be long. Then we'll hit the trails as a family - that's if my prairie legs don't give out on me. I'd take a picture but that is the other thing . . .
Our Canon A75 has finally taken its last picture. Yup, it served us well but it has breathed it's last. We took more than 10, 000 picture with it over the years. So what to do now? We spent our money on the washer/dryer and now the bike. I guess I should get back to work - now for more reasons than 1 . . .
Books
So I read a couple of books in the past few weeks. Nothing really heavy or spiritual. Kinda liking reading fiction and, I don't know what you would call it, uh, real life stories/biographies/first hand accounts. I am speaking of Krakauer's books. Can you literary people (who are familiar with Krakauer) tell me what you would call them?
Anyway, Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer reminded me that I'd love to climb Everest but that I never will. It's a great read for you adventure lovers. Be warned - not exactly a happy ending,
Hornet Flight by Ken Follett was allright. It is set in Denmark during World War I. It involves spying and old airplanes which is kinda cool. Some of the book was cheesy so I don't know if I'll read anything else by Follett.
Because I really liked Into Thin Air, I thought I'd read another of Krakauer's books: Into The Wild. It was good. It's about a wandering young man who decides to spend some time in the Alaska Wilderness - alone. He died out there and Krakauer retraces his steps with this book. He tries to find out what kind a person would head out into the wilderness to live alone. The idea is romantic but like Krakauer's other book, I am reminded that I will not be heading into the wilderness alone, for a length of time, any time soon.
Those Photos
I don't know why blogger messes up the photos when it resizes them. Sorry about the bad images. You'll have to click on them to see the full size image.
I don't have the time at the moment to learn how to fix it so anybody got some ideas?
The Boyz
Just wanted to show some pics of our last trip to the park.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Speaking of doing the right thing
It's interesting because as I am still thinking about the ipod situation, I read John Piper's post this morning:
By John Piper March 28, 2007
Since my father died on March 6, I have been looking through his papers. I found a small sheet with the following fifteen counsels, titled “Things I Have Learned.” They have again confirmed the obvious: I owe my father more than I can ever remember. The comment after each one is mine.
Things I have Learned
by Bill Piper
1. The right road always leads to the right place; therefore, get on the right road and go as far as you can on it.
with comments by John Piper2. There is only one thing to do about anything; that is the right thing. Do right.My father was totally persuaded that wrong means do not lead to right ends. Or, more positively, he was persuaded that living in the right way—that is, doing the right things—are means that inevitably lead to where God wants us to be. This is why he told me, when I asked about God’s leading in my life, “Son, keep the room clean where you are, and in God’s time, the door to the next room will open.”
This is what one might say to a person perplexed by a difficult situation whose outcome is unknown. The person might say, “I just don’t know what to do about this.” It is not useless to be told: Do the right thing. That may not tell you exactly which good thing to do, but it does clear the air and rule out a few dozen bad ideas.
There is more, of course, but this was fitting for me today.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
How do you know if you have done the right thing?
I won an ipod nano at Tim Hortons. Well, not really but kinda.
This past week, we had a video technician install our new video projector and video system at the church. He is a really nice guy and did a great job.
On Friday morning, he showed up with his breakfast: a coffee and a muffin from Tim Hortons.
He finished his work Friday afternoon and headed back to the coast - job well done.
On Saturday night, I was working late in the sound/video room playing with the projector and setting stuff up for Sunday. On my way home, I noticed his discarded Tim Hortons cup in a box of garbage that he had left from Friday. It seemed to me that the rim had not been rolled up yet. My curiosity got the better of me and I checked it out. The first word I saw was "ipod"! My heart raced. My suspicions were confirmed once I fully unraveled the rim: I was holding a winning Tim Horton's cup and the prize was an ipod nano!
I did know that the cup wasn't mine. I knew it was Terry's (video tech). And my immediate thought was that I should tell him and offer to send it to him.
I had Angela read the rim at home and proceeded to burst her bubble when I said it was not mine.
Now, Sunday morning rolls around and I'm telling people this story. The overwhelming response was: "finder's keeper's, loosers wheepers." Everyone except my parents and my senior pastor said that I should claim it as mine. Terry would never know. So, untill I talked to people about it, I didn't feel like I was suffering from a moral dilema.
After weighing the decision, I decided to still tell Terry about the cup. And this morning I did. I asked him what he wanted me to do with it. He wants me to mail it to him!
Honestly, when I recieved that reply via email, I was crestfallen and I still am. I let myself believe that he was a nice person who would probably let me keep it since he allready had an ipod and since he did throw the cup in the garbage. I thought he may operate by the "finder's keeper's" rule but I guess not.
So, I was a winner for a while. Now I am not.
And I don't really know if I have done the right thing.
One of the pat answeres I heard was "well, you will be rewarded in other ways." Not what I want to hear and I would argue that it is not necessarily true.
But I need something better to raise my spirits. What do you think? Did I do the right thing?
Thursday, March 15, 2007
My friend has a Beemer
Yeah, that's right. One of my friends owns a BMW. I just found out today. (I am using the word friend here a little loosely - the 'friend' in question recently moved to our area, started attending our church, comes to our home group, and we are getting to know each other.) Until tonight, I have only seen my friend and his wife in their Suburban - a beautiful new 'suburban' Suburban.
I knew they had some cash, having just sold their house in downtown Vancouver but I didn't think they had that much.
So, Angela and I leave to go home after our care group meeting and parked behind me is this beautiful, black shiny BMW. I didn't take a closer look at it because I didn't want to make it obvious that I was gawking but it was definitely worth a bit of coin (and yes it was theirs and I was not mistaken - we were on an acreage and I know what everyone else drives).
I do admit that a severe jealousy has come over me. And that is one reason for this post. I really quite ashamed that I even care that much about what someone drives. I am ashamed that I want a car such as theirs. I am ashamed that I have judged them based on their vehicle choice.
It's now been maybe 20 minutes since this all came to light to me and I am amused at the context in which this falls: our group just started a little series on Marriage by Andy Stanley and tonight he talked about the transition that happens in marriage when our desires become our expectations. Like when a couple is engaged and they have dreams of what their life will be together - their desires. And then, sometime into their marriage, those desires may become expectations. "So dear, doing the laundry is your job cause that is what the wife does" or "when are we going to put a down payment on a house because you sir promised you would provide for our family." And Andy was saying that when we live with expectations and don't put them back in the "desire" category, the marriage relationship erodes. As I was listening, I was thinking about my relationship with Angela, sure, but I was also thinking about my discontent with my "faith." I realized tonight that I expect quite a bit from God. I realize that I have been saying to God: "OK, so I am serving you. I am in ministry. You owe me one, God. You owe me blessings. You owe me a decent salary. You owe me a reliable car. You owe me more than this." Well, I haven't really said all that stuff outright but that is basically how a have become to feel about my relationship with God. And that is probably why I have become bitter with God. I am angry that he hasn't followed through on his end of the bargain.
Andy Stanley says that one way you can find out what your unknown expectations are taking not of what you don't thank your spouse for. For example: Angela does all our laundry. We haven't really talked about who's job it is. She just does it. And she seems to not mind. The problem lies in the fact that I rarely, if ever, thank her for it. I only seem to mention something about it when I am low on socks or something. And according to Andy, this is because I expect her to do the laundry. And he's right. One day I may have desired for my wife to do our laundry but somewhere along the way, it changed to an expectation. This is not good. If I could get it back to a desire, I would have gratitude that Angela is doing our laundry and in tern might be more likely to do the laundry out of love for me. She would be doing it to fulfill my desire, not live up to expectations. If she is always trying to live up to expectations, then she may get tired of it, get bitter, angry and she could perhaps quit it all together but one thing is sure: it would become an issue of contention. And not realize that it is my expectation that started it in the first place, I wouldn't understand what the problem was. You get what I'm saying?
And I do the same thing with God. I have desires, but I've somehow, for some reason, turned them into expectations. The Bible talks a lot about God wanting to give us our desires but says very little about living up to our expectations.
And after we watched the talk about this, of course Andy says we are going to learn how to move expectations back to desires in the coming weeks. We all wanted to find out how right away. Oh well, it gave us lots to think about as couples.
But this was the context of my thoughts surrounding my friend and his Beemer. And my thoughts about why God hasn't blessed me like I expected him too. And my thoughts about why my desires never seem to be fulfilled. And ultimately, my lack of faith in the whole area of trusting God for providing for me. God is teaching me a few things. It just seems funny to me that He uses a friend and his BMW, a care group that is going through a marriage study, and my wife's commitment to laundry, to teach me about my relationship with Him. My relationship with God lately has been a journey towards gratitude, contentment, and more so - joy. The events of the last 30 minutes have propelled me further along in that journey and I am a more grateful person than I was 30 minutes ago. If anything, I am thankful that there is hope for me to recapture the joy that God promises - to be content and grateful for all that God has provided.
How much R&R is too much?
My intern and I had breakfast supplied by Tim Hortnons.
Then we went golfing.
And then went fishing.
And hiking.
I am wondering if that was too much - especially on church time.
But then I think no and here's why:
We set out initially to only play golf, but since we went early in the morning, I was running late and had to go get a Sausage thing from Tim LLING_ERROR_1">Hortons, and as a consolation for being late, I brought David a bacon one.
On the first hole, we cleard the pond from the tee. As we walked around the pond that we soon realized was covered with a thin layer of ice, we saw that my ball came to rest on top of the ice of a tiny pond which contained a few hundred dead fish. Being the pro that I am, I dicided to chip the ball where it lay (and because I wanted a story to tell). As soon as my 9 iron hit the ice, it was obvious to us that most, if not all of these fish were indeed quite alive! David, having a heart for the living, decided he would rescue these fish and place them in the bigger, life sustaining pond. It seemed to us that these fish were going to die if left too much longer in the puddle. And would you know it, and I am not kidding, there were fish nets right there for us to do the task, or rather David. using his club to chop holes in the ice, he proceeded to catch one of these things and free it. Just as David was moving this suffocating fish to the big pond, it fell out of the net and landed on the ice with a dull thud. So much for saving it's life. He did get it into the water and the fish eventually swam to freedom. Who goes fishing on a golf course? We do.
And even though we only played 9 holes, we had quite the hike. We took in the beautiful surroundings. Ah, it was great. A cool sunny morning. How much better can it get?
And we had the course all to our selves. No pressures.
And we did this all on work time.
And I think I am using "and" too much to start sentences.
But all this to say, you can never have too much R&R.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
I received a sweet compliment the other day that ranks close to the top of my list of best compliments ever received! And I was given by my local garbage man no less!
(put on Jack Johnson's "The 3 R's" before you read on - an appropriate soundtrack for this post)
It just so happens that the owner's of Summerland Sanitation Service go to our church and attend our care group. All of their employees go to to our church and attend our care group. No, we don't have a big care group - they only have one employee and there are only two owners so we are talking three guys and their wives.
Anyway, they started a recycling pickup service about a month ago. This has excited me more in the last few months than anything has! Really. I've always wanted to live in a town that has a recycling pickup service. And since the service has begun, I have bought blue recycling bags, sorted my plastics from the paper and tin, and bundled up my cardboard in a neat pile. When they come around, every other Thursday, I have it neatly piled by the road - just like they asked. Now we are down to one and a half bags of garbage per week. If we start composting in the summer, like I hope to, we could be down to half a bag of garbage. If there was a diaper pickup service, then, we'd have almost no garbage.
Oh, back to the compliment. . . So we were talking about the new pickup service when I asked it I was doing it right. The pickup dude laughed and said "man, you have the neatest most organized recycle pile in town!" And he was serious.
So now I can go to sleep knowing that nobody recycles better than me!
Young Love
So I am supposed to be working on a talk that I am giving my Jr. High youth tonight. In the spirit of procrastination, I thought I'd rather blog about the process rather than carry it out. Tonight's topic and theme is dating . . .
I really just want to tell them they are too young but somehow I need to stretch that into a 15 minute talk. That is the hard part. I guess I could repeat "you are too young to date" over and over for 15 minutes. I could talk about the statistics, maybe. Like 51% of teen marriages end in divorce before the age of 24 (National Center for Health Statistics). But statistics usually only discourage people. So those ideas are probably no good.
Ah well. I'll come up with something. I just wonder if I'll believe the same things and feel the same way about Jr. Highs and relationship issues when my boys are in Jr. High.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
SAC Happiness
SAC stands for Summerland Alliance Church and Happiness stands for happiness.
There are a lot of cool things happening within our church family these days.
I haven't mentioned anything about it here yet but I have an intern working for me. He started in January and is around until the end of April. He's a guy that was in my youth group when we first started serving here. He is in his third year at Briercrest Bible College. And he is a close personal friend.
This internship is a really great thing. He's not sure what kind of ministry heading he's going to take but he sure has options. He is great with kids and young people so it's awesome to have help with our youth ministry. He's developing into a good worship leader and it has been my pleasure to have him play and sing with me and a pleasure for me to play, sing and worship under his leadership. He's passionate about drama and is getting our church family passionate about it too. And he's great with seniors. I believe he was going to learn to knit this afternoon as a matter of fact.
Anyhow, he preached in our service today. His first sermon ever in front of a church congregation. He did really well. I never grew up hearing the phrase "good word" but I heard it many time today: "David, that was a good word!" "David, thanks for that good word." Anyway. I was proud of him. He sure made me think and that kinda ticks me off cause I know I have some changes to make in my life. This is, however, how I know the Spirit used David to speak to me.
And speaking of our service and "first ever's", I conducted my first baby dedication today. I have to admit it was fun. I did put quite a bit of effort into preparation, practically rewriting the pastor's handbook, but that was a pleasure cause the son I dedicated was the son of friends. Very special.
Another cool thing is that we axed our 4-year-old prelude. Yeah, we do anywhere from 7 to 10 songs in a service. I think that is more than average. I mean, doing a 3 or 4 song prelude has been cool but practicing 10 songs in a short amount of time is hard even for pro musicians. Now we do 6 songs which allows us to do more than just make sure we know how to play the songs. We can actually work towards a great tight sound and be creative within it. I'm enjoying music and leading worship a little more now.
I was at a PK (Promise Keepers) breakfast yesterday. I only went because a friend of mine was going to go. I didn't really want to go but I did. It was interesting. The major thrust of the discussion was on "the call of God" or rather "what the heck am I supposed to do with my life?" I weighed in on this one more so than usual. I am usually the youngest one at these things (that was until David, my intern, came along) and so I approach life, God, faith, church etc. rather differently than these men. I usually keep my mouth shut. Not so yesterday. Rather than get into what I said, I'll just say that I was quite alone in my views on the matter of calling and deciding what we should do for careers and stuff. I put myself out there. I was thinking for the rest of the day that I should have just kept my mouth shut but two of the men approached me later to share their appreciation for what I said. I made them think, so they said, and I tell ya, it was good to hear. Anyways, my challenge has always been to work up enough courage to speak my mind/heart and I'm starting to speak up more and more, with favorable results.
I've seen a lot of people struggling with marriages lately but some are taking a positive turn and you could never know how excited I am to see it.
Angela's Caterpillar Club is doing well and she has new moms showing up every Friday. We've seen some of them in church since. I have a feeling this thing is going to grow.
There was some drama with one of my sponsors and myself about my philosophy of doing youth ministry and this actually caused me a lot of stress. I hate strained relationships like this but we're working it out and I am quite happy that we can restore our tattered friendship. I think the incident will turn out to be merely a bump in the road of our friendship.
So I felt like writing this post to kinda count my blessings. And even though I haven't said it, the goodness I see in our church family these days (there is more than I just typed) really shows that we have found favor with God. I am thankful that He is using our church to reach our community. I am thankful that we are an "alive" church family and that we are passionate about striving for holiness, reaching our community for the sake of His kingdom and seeing His kingdom come in the whole world. Yeah, to God be the glory, now and forever.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Parking Etiquette
Is there some sort of official parking etiquette established that I don't know about?
We were leaving Costco today. Packing up our car with our two kids and the groceries took us a little time. I finally got in and in my excitement to open the packaging to a cordless phone set we just bought, I noticed another car signaling for my spot. I don't know how long they had been there but it was obvious from the persistent blinking of that evil orange light that they wanted my spot and wanted it now. And this is where I need some rules. Am I obligated to vacate the space as fast as possible or are they obligated to wait till I am good and ready to leave? This is not the first time this scenario has played out and admittedly, I have lingered longer than I have needed just to assert my control over that 5'x9' space.
But really, what should a guy do? I don't like the pressure of having to leave a parking place sooner than I am ready - and as odd as it sounds, I like to get ready to drive (loose items stowed, appropriate song on the ipod, climate controls set etc.).
Once, at the mall during the pre-Christmas shopping rush, I waited in the car with a sleeping child while Angela took the other one inside to shop. In the span of 45 minutes, 9 cars signaled for my spot. One stayed for over 4 minutes before they got the hint that I was not moving! Is a parking spot that valuable that people wait so long?
In our case today, we parked some distance from the store. We don't mind walking. In fact, we prefer to park some distance which is why I was surprised at the interruption. The parking lot seemed to fill out while we were in the store making our parking stall the closest, soon to be available stall. It never ceases to amaze me how persistent people are in their attempts to get a parking space as close to the store as they can.
Anyhow, I was curious to know if I was alone in this. For me it's a case of what is the right thing to do vs. what do I want to do.
Will I linger longer next time? Will I exit promptly? I don't know.
My boyz
Mackenzie and Lukas are growin up soo fast. Just thought I'd post two recent pictures of them for no other reason than to show em off.
Valentines Bitterness
My wife doesn't need Valentines Day to know I love her. Really. Ask her. We talked about it. She knows my dislike for obligatory holidays. OK, I know valentines day isn't a holiday but if it were, I would feel obliged to take the day off and therein lies an exception to my rule: if you are obligated to buy something for someone, don't do it because everyone is doing it. If you are obligated to take the day off - do it because everyone is doing it (or rather because it is a good thing to do). But if valentines day were like all my other holidays in which I am obliged to take the day off, I would inevitably find myself doing work on that day anyways. So either way, I loose. But that is not the point of my ramblings.
I am teetering on the fence of indecision with guilt on one side and defiance on the other. I am teetering because I haven't purchased flowers, cards nor chocolates for my wife.
The other day I drove by one of our favorite bakeries (I was out of town) and I was struck with a brilliant idea - why not buy Angela a pecan sticky bun? She loves them and we usually get them on special outings. So I did. She almost cried. The point: Valentines day is not the one day to love someone. It's really a poor excuse to love someone. If you show affection on that day more than on other days, you need to pull up your socks in the romance department.
I think I've fallen off the fence and landed in the field of defiance.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Confessions in a Barber's chair
So I had a good chat with my barber today. I have two barbers that share the same shop - Peter and Bill - and today I had Peter cut my hair. I tend to go to Bill. And for good reason. About a year ago, I took Mackenzie to get a hair cut cause he was essentially wearing a mop. I was hoping to get Bill cause he cuts kids hair. Peter doesn't. Bill was not in that day but I was determined to have Mackenzie's hair cut. I kinda forcefully convinced Peter to give it a try. I am not a forceful person so this was somewhat out of character for me. It was a disaster. Peter was tense, Mackenzie was in tears, and even though hairs were cut, the "before" was definitely looking better than the "after". Peter finally gave up and sent us home without charging us. He didn't want me to pay for "work he was not proud of." Needless to say, I felt very bad for the whole mess-for Mackenzie for the trauma he experienced but mostly for Peter who was very tense and frustrated. I felt worse for Peter cause as far as I was concerned, Mackenzie needed to suck it up and accept the fact that he needs to be groomed.
Since that day, every time I walk into the shop, I feel pangs of guilt for what I put Peter through. And for that reason too, I have Bill cut my hair. I somehow came to believe that every time I walked into the shop, and Peter saw me, in his mind he was saying: "oh, not him, not the guy that pressured me into cutting his son's hair and putting me through hell".
All these thoughts were going through my head when I walked into the shop this morning. I thought that this time, I would go to Peter. I wanted to send the message that I was not upset at him for his failure to cut my sons hair and I didn't want him to think I was avoiding him cause sometimes, when I go to get a haircut, he says that Bill's not here, assuming that I want Bill to do it. And I wanted him to know that I was sorry for putting him through hell. Well, it turns out that Bill was not at the shop today and wouldn't be for some time since he was on holidays. I wasn't going to let that phase me. My hair was soo long, when I wore my toque, my silhouette resembled a 100watt light bulb. I told him I was going to stay and wait for him to be done with his current client.
As I sat down in his chair, we bantered about. The usual topics: weather, how busy we are, cars. Then the inevitable silence. We were out of things to say. I am usually fine with this silence only today, something inside me told me to talk to him about that "incident". And for some stupid reason, I listened to that voice and started out with "I don't know if you remember but about a year ago I brought my son in for a haircut . . ." I told him the whole story, ending with: "and I still feel terrible for making you go through that." And I'll be darned, Peter could not remember the fiasco. He had no recollection! You don't know the joy I felt this morning sitting in his chair, his shaver buzzing dreamily about my head!
Turns out he thought the story was funny! I told Peter that my son still hates getting his hair cut and it is not because of him but because of another "incident" with an evil lady. It also turns out that there is a place in Westbank that specializes in cutting the hairs of kids like mine! Double blessing!
So the moral of the story is, if you need a barber, and you have kids and you want to take them to the same barber, and you struggle with a guilty conscience, make sure that he has a bad memory.
Monday, January 22, 2007
The Still, Small Voice of Love
Another Nouwen Meditation:
Many voices ask for our attention. There is a voice that says, "Prove that you are a good person." Another voice says, "You'd better be ashamed of yourself." There also is a voice that says, "Nobody really cares about you," and one that says, "Be sure to become successful, popular, and powerful." But underneath all these often very noisy voices is a still, small voice that says, "You are my Beloved, my favor rests on you." That's the voice we need most of all to hear. To hear that voice, however, requires special effort; it requires solitude, silence, and a strong determination to listen.
That's what prayer is. It is listening to the voice that calls us "my Beloved."
Friday, January 19, 2007
Overcoming Life's Obstacles - Part 2
Again, if you are looking for a fluffy feel good story, look elsewhere.
I overcame an obstacle today: I made it up the T-Bar lift on a snowboard!
Yup, that's right! I made it up the T-Bar lift 4 times and I did not fall off! Coming down the mountain is another story but despite the falls, that's the easy part.
Back story: every year, I take our youth to Apex to do some night skiing on Friday nights. It is super cheap on Fridays. Anyhow, having mastered skiing (aka: I can make it down the hill without killing or injuring myself and actually enjoy it), I decided I would be "hip" and learn to snowboard. For the past two years, I never made it past the bunny hill. I tried the T-Bar but until tonight, I couldn't get 10 meters up the hill without falling. And just so you don't get the wrong idea: the fact that I used the word "hip" shows that I'll never be hip, or whatever today's equivalent of "hip" is. And when I said "for the past two years", it's not like I have been trying for two years to snowboard. In fact, I have only gone snowboarding 3 evenings out of those two years so relative to the time I have spent away from the slopes, I have picked up the skills at an alarming pace.
Tonight, on the fourth and last run, I did not fall. It was beautiful. I became one with the board and it was as if I floated down that heavenly slope. It could probably be likened to an out of body experience. I wouldn't know. I've never had one. But it was bliss.
I am on a roll with overcoming obstacles. What should I try to overcome next?
Overcoming Life's Obstacles - Part 1
If you are expecting a fluffy inspirational story, this is not it. It is, however, a story of overcoming obstacles.
The obstacle: A Rubik's cube.
That's right folks, I set my mind to the task of solving the Rubik's cube. I can now consistently solve it in under 2 minutes. It took me about a day to learn.
I'm looking around now for a good speed cube. I hope to buy one pretty soon. I want to get faster at it. It would be cool if I could solve it in 30 seconds or less.
So, if I bought a good speed cube, I'd put the one I have right now on my shelf next to my Evangecube.
I am wondering now if I'll be less effective in advancing God's kingdom, now that I can solve the Rubik's cube. I had a vision recently that I was on an airplane. Because I couldn't listen to my ipod until we were in the air, I decided to pull out my Rubik's cube. The person next to me, with a chuckle, asked if I knew how to solve thing to which I promptly replied: "no I can't but I've got an Evangecube and I've mastered that, wanna see it?" And by time we landed, Angels were dancing and singing in heaven.
Now that is not an option.
That said, if you know of anyone on this green earth who has decided to give their lives to God because of an Evangecube, please do let me know. If there is someone out there who truly has come to God because of one of those, I'll never mock out Jesus Junk again!
Friday, January 12, 2007
Ok, so I am not in bed yet . . .
You may have heard some rumors about a guy who can speed cube blindfolded. Because of my arduous poking around, I can confirm that rumor:
His name is Tyson Mao. He has held the world record at one time for speed cubing. He is the dude that taught Will Smith how to speed cube for his latest movie: The Pursuit of Happiness. (I can't wait to see it). Anyway, here is a video of him doing it blind folded: Video.
Now I get to go to bed.
What else would keep me up this late?
So normally I would be fast asleep right now. Normally. Tonight isn't normal, however.
Enter: Obsession.
Yes, that's right. I have a new obsession: learning to solve the Rubik's cube.
So I am a nerd . . .
Backstory: last night, one of my youth found a Rubik's cube in the church kitchen. Discussions ensued. Egos grew. I figured I could solve the thing by the next day. I told everyone so. They put me up to it. How could I be so stupid.
With the help of the Internet, I discovered that there are 3, 000, 000, 000 possible configurations a methods to solving the thing. I could handle maybe 2, 000, 000, 000 but not much more than that. Still, I purposed to solve it. . . with the help of my online teachers. . . .
First things first: I had to take it apart to see how it worked. Easy enough. But then I learned that if you don't put it together solved, you have a 93% chance of making the cube unsolvable. I prefer the solvable kind and so I followed those simple directions. Thus, in my hands lay a solved Rubik's cube. As fun as it would be to show my challengers a completed puzzle, I would be lying, and that is not so good for a pastor, so I told the truth.
My new intern proceeded to mess the whole thing up horribly. This became the challenge of the day.
So with the "aid" of some websites that I won't disclose, not that you couldn't find them using our friend Google, I tackled the puzzle.
I made some real progress throughout the day: numerous bathroom breaks, the drive to meet a friend (not recommended in high traffic areas), lunch with my family, etc.
Well, long story short (or rather, shorter), I got as far as I could go late this evening. Feeling dumb and defeated, I plugged my current configuration into a Rubik's Cube solver. The program found a solution before I fully released the pressure of my index finger on the left mouse button. This further heightened my humiliation. When I saw that the solution required 50 moves, I felt less dumb.
I completed the cube at 1:28am, Friday morning. It took my 100, 000 moves of the day plus the solver's 50. I am able to retain a little of my pride.
Now the real question becomes: will this obsession be laid to rest as I go to bed in the next few minutes or will it consume my every thought? We'll see what the morning brings.
In the meantime, check out this video of some dude speed cubing. I figure in a couple of days, if I dedicate my time to honing my mad skillz, I'll be giving this dude a run for his money!
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Fruit vs. Success
I don't feel I'm all that successful. Most of the time, I feel that what I do or who I am as a pastor is of little value to anyone. I know this is false but I think you can understand how easy we believe "the lies".
Well, lately, God has shown Angela and I fruit. He has shown us some things that remind us why we are in Summerland serving our church. Thank-you God.
* * *
Angela and I were enjoying "counting our blessings" and, how do you say it, "gazing at the fruit in the orchard of our ministry" one morning this past week and were feeling quite encouraged. Not to say we were looking back and seeing what we had done, but what we were seeing was the "this is why I (God) want you here in Summerland - this is what I am going to do with you" stuff. It was good.It's funny how the goodness of those moments can end as soon as I step foot in my office - especially the first time since a nice long holiday. Well, amidst the returning feeling of "what good am I to God and the world while working here in my office", Angela sent me this:
Fruits That Grow in VulnerabilitySo right now, I am encouraged by this. At this moment, I want my life to be fruitful rather than successful. God knows I suck at trying to be in control . . .
There is a great difference between successfulness and fruitfulness. Success comes from strength, control, and respectability. A successful person has the energy to create something, to keep control over its development, and to make it available in large quantities. Success brings many rewards and often fame. Fruits, however, come from weakness and vulnerability. And fruits are unique. A child is the fruit conceived in vulnerability, community is the fruit born through shared brokenness, and intimacy is the fruit that grows through touching one another's wounds. Let's remind one another that what brings us true joy is not successfulness but fruitfulness.
Henri Nouwen: Bread for the Journey
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