Made it through what? Well, I am sitting at Angela's parents computer connected via dial-up, in cold Southern Saskatchewan. That means I made it through the exhaustive last week. That means I finally finished arranging that choir song I was talking about a while back (here.) It was that song that took all my free time in the past weeks. And that means the four of us made it on the plane, made it through the flight to Regina, and made it through the 3 hour drive to the farm. These were no small feats. Mackenzie and Lukas did pretty well with the travelling. They had the expected issues with the air pressures bothering their ears on landings, and had enough sitting by the time we got in the van for the ride to the farm, but overall, they did well.
So now do I relax? I'll try. I actually have a fair bit of "church work" I gotta do from out here. I am tempted to forget about it but then I wouldn't be taking care of my responsibilities. We'll see. And, usually when we go on a holiday, I get sick. Angela thinks it is because I come down from living life at a fast pace that I crash when it slows. She is probably right. So I am not looking forward to that. I will be sleeping more - naps every day and the occasional morning to sleep in when Angela's mom and dad entertain the boys. That will be sweet.
We'll have adventures on the farm. Mackenzie loves the farm. Tractor rides . . . horse rides . . . chores with uncle Richard and Grandpa. . .
We'll visit my sister and her family. Mackenzie will get to play with his three cousins.
We'll have some friends come visit from all around Saskatchewan. Sorry Sheldon, I don't think we'll make it to Saskatoon. I'll email or call though . . .
And, I'll be able to read some books and muse more on this blog. I am looking forward to that.
We'll finish watching the second season of lost. Richard and I will log a few hours on the xbox. We may even play some old school UT, Rogue Spear, Medal of Honor over the LAN on our pc's. Those old games are the only ones that may run on my laptop. None of this BF1942 or Half Life 2 stuff. Someday.
So yeah, stay tuned for life updates, thoughts on books and thoughts on other stuff. I am even going to take time to update a few things on this site. I'll wait till I get back to post some photo albums. After all, this is dial-up, the only option out here at the moment. I am thankful though - I am connected!
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
We made it!
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Dispatches From The Edge
I am still trying to decide what I am feeling having finished this book tonight. I have mixed emotions but I don't know how to feel. It's the same as when I read Shake Hands With The Devil by Roméo Dallaire. That book was about the Genocide in Rwanda. Cooper Anderson's book is about tragedy of similar proportions.
You can read a much better review of the book than I could ever write here.
I am glad I read this book. I am not sure if I like it or not. I like it in the sense that I get to know a real person, and Anderson is a real person. I like him. I like how he thinks. I like how he hurts and processes pain. That is what this book is mostly about - pain. Yeah, he covers wars, famine and Tsunamis, but he shares about his life, his father's death and his brother's death by suicide. He shares his pain. And I guess on some level, I feel his pain.
I also like reading about tragedy. I don't know why. I just do. And I don't like reading about tragedy in a happy sort of way, but in a way that I learn about our world's reality. That I get to hear about people I may never meet but who lived on earth. Who may or may not have made a difference in this world, but that died before we could even see if they would. So, I like reading about it but I read with great sadness. Sadness that people are like that. That people have no problem killing. That people don't care about other people. I read with sadness cause there is so much death.
And I don't always know how to respond to tragedy. Should I be compelled to do something? Am I compelled? Am I doing anything? I made the comment to Angela today that I should go find a tragedy and offer help. Why would I say this? Is it because I want to see tragedy as a "looky lou"? Is it because I care about people? Is it because I like to be helpful? Is it because I want and adventure? Is it because people need Jesus in tragedy and I can be Jesus "with skin on"? I don't really know. Maybe all of those reasons.
I sure got the feeling that Americans elevate themselves higher than any other race. He didn't say that of course but as he is reporting on the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, he is quoting people who say that they can see stuff like this happening in Rwanda, Iraq, Sarajevo or Sumatra, but not the US. They are referring to the fact that bodies were left to rot for days after Katrina hit. No one would pick them up. It looked like a war zone. Should we be surprised that such tragedy can hit close to home? I don't think so. We are not invincible.
I remember news reports of irate men and women who were furious that the government only gave them $2000 after Katrina. They said it was nothing and demanded more. Now, I agree that $2000 is nothing in the wake of having your home destroyed or family members taken from you. It's just that it seems to me we have become a culture that feels they deserve everything. That they deserve this and they deserve that. I could go to scripture to make a point but instead I'll just say that this spirit of entitlement seems wrong to me. I don't deserve anything. I am thankful for what I have. If the rubber meets the road and I am in a position of great loss, be it death or destruction, I hope I don't expect any compensation from anybody. I hope I don't demand that I receive help. I will hope for it, maybe even ask for it, but I hope I don't feel I deserve it - that I am grateful for it.
So yeah, I hope that gives you an idea if you would be into this book or not. I know some of you will read it cause I am bringing it to you when we come to Saskatchewan. I will be curious to know your reactions to the book.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
[re]Understanding Prayer
I got David Gray's "Lost Songs" playing right now. I have the blinds drawn and all but one light out in my office. I have a few pieces of Hazelnut Dairy Milk chocolate leftover from last night and this book in front of me. The perfect setting to talk books. Almost perfect anyway. An americano with cream would be perfect. Ah, can't have everything.
I'm now at a place of putting into language those particular moments of deep connection with God. Deep connection with God likened to those between, say, a husband and wife. And yet this is no husband-wife relationship. Far more. Not so much sexual, but at times intimate. Thorough. Hidden. Transparent. Near.
How do you put into words moments of deep connection held between a husband and wife that are not always intended for others? And if those moments are then taken and placed on the marked of public exchange, do they not lose their essence and sanctity in the transmission of those ideas? Here lies my anxiety. Does the husband or wife not, then, feel some sense of betrayal when their experience has gone public? So how do I talk about this primal, deep connection with God without betraying the essence of what it is? I have to admit the possibility that I may miss this entirely. In putting this thing into words, I may lose the sanctity of what it is.
I believe this is the reason Phyllis Tickle described prayer as "a place." "Prayer is a spot where we go just as surely as a church sanctuary is a place," she continues. "When we [pray], we are going into a place built from words. Or at least it's a place where words are the parameters, the walls into which we enter." This place is not necessarily physical. It's not something that can be stripped, reduced, and formulated into a seven-step process."
Kyle Lake, [re]Understanding Prayer, pg. 155-116.
I resonate with this. Prayer is a place. And it can't be reduced to formulas or steps. Even though this was found 3/4 the way through the book, I think it sums up Kyle's purpose for writing the book. Even though you can't strip, reduce, formulate or put prayer into steps, Kyle does attempt to talk about it. What he ends up doing, like his other book: Understanding God's Will, is blow apart myths surrounding the character of God and myths surrounding prayer. He writes about the problems of prayer as drama, prayer put into steps, prayers with big words, the insider language of prayer and more. All stuff I pretty much resonate with. So for me, not a lot new here, except that I find freedom in knowing that what I think is not just what I think but what others think. I find freedom in the fact that my prayer life is not contrary to everyone else's. If find freedom in knowing that others ask the same questions I do about faith. I find freedom ultimately from the guilt that surrounds my approach to prayer. Kyle talks a lot about prayer as a way of life. He talks about practicing the presence of God, quoting Brother Lawrence and other authors I like to read about prayer as life. But really, this idea is not widely accepted. I could get into this whole idea but it's a tangent.
So yeah, this book is not a whole lot new for me but I was glad I read it none the less cause it articulated a lot of what I have been thinking.
What I didn't like about the book was Kyle's tangents and weird thoughts. They seemed to have no purpose. One example is a whole chapter which is a letter to Garth Brooks debunking his song "Unanswered Prayers." I get his point but did he really have to write a letter to Garth Brooks? I also found that Kyle quoted a lot of people's material, which is fine in itself, but I found that I would rather read the people he quotes, like Henri Nouen and Brother Lawrence.
If you know anything about Kyle Lake then you may be thinking I am being a little harsh. I am sorry. Kyle died a year ago in front of his congregation. He was about to baptize a woman. He adjusted the microphone and received an electric shock that killed him. He was the pastor of University Baptist Church in Waco Texas, which Chris Seay and David Crowder started. So I don't mean to be harsh but the book does deserve an honest review. I will tell you though, I thought of his wife and kids a lot throughout the book. He talked about them lots and it is evident he loved them very much. I ache with them and the whole church community. Kyle lake will have touched more lives than he will ever know, including mine.
So, who should read this book? You. It is a good discussion on prayer. It is not too intensive. It is refreshing. It is a good first book on prayer. If you are a theologian or a philosopher, then, maybe it will be too basic for you. But I think you will come away refreshed and challenged at the same time.
Monday, October 23, 2006
I've been gone
I've been away. And when I say away, I mean no computer of any kind and no internet. I've had lots to write about but no way to do it, aside from writing on paper and then typing it out later. But who writes on paper anymore?
This weekend I took a few of our junior high youth to a conference in Chilliwack. Overall, a good weekend. How do you really evaluate weekends like this anyway?
Included in this weekend was a van ride to Chilliwack. We topped up the van with Kelowna Alliance kids. The trip was uneventful, which is a good thing. There was a Friday night rally. My kids are not really rally kids. Oh well. We stayed at a nice place in Chilliwack for the weekend. We tried watching "Click" the movie but thankfully Maria made the call to turn it off. A pretty sick movie if you ask me. Maybe it gets better, I don't think I'll never know. Saturday brought a morning rally. After lunch, we stuffed backpacks with school supplies, toys and letters to send to Haiti. That was the favorite part of the weekend for a few of my kids. I wrote a letter and left an address. It would be cool to receive a letter. The rally that came after challenged us to think globally and socially. God keeps bringing Haiti to my mind. I don't know what that means. Maybe it is because I have been there, or because I have friends there right now, or because of this backpack project. I don't know but I wonder. We went to a WHL Hockey game in the evening and I really enjoyed it. I haven't been to a hockey game in over 8 years! Angela and I are thinking we would like to take our boys to a game. Maybe a Penticton Vikings game or a Kelowna Rockets game. See if they like it. Right now the only thing Mackenzie knows about hock is "Zamboni clean ice?"
After a decent nights sleep and a pancake breakfast, we went to our last rally. Our kids were finally called up for a game but were kinda shy that after they tried to go up and were unrecognized, they sat back down. Oh well. Their loss. We headed home and I only had to stop 3 times to wait for kids to settle down and put on their seat belt.
As for as the God factor and our kids. That is always hard to measure. Some put their hands up for some kind of commitment on Friday, but they don't want to talk about it. And the forced discussion times bombed. But both Maria and I had opportunities to hang out and chat with kids one on one which is good. And that was another good part of the weekend: having Maria along. When we first moved to Summerland, she was a youth in our youth group. Now she is a leader and an amazing one at that!
So that was the weekend. I have had lots that I have wanted to write about. I asked a lot of questions as usual. There have been some Oswald thoughts that I wanted to write about and some just life in general things, but I can rarely find the time. And often I will formulate thoughts and ideas to write about but share them with Angela and then I will no longer feel the need to write about them anymore. And I don't mind that at all cause Angela is infinitely more important to me than this blog and its readers. I'll keep writing though when I can so stay tuned.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Scattered
some sheep aren't lostThat's from the book Story by Steven James, pg. 161. Angela and I read a chapter every morning. It's a chapter about how the disciples scattered when Jesus died. I just thought I'd share the poem.
they know exactly
where the shepherd is.
it's just that they're running
away from him.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
How alone am I?
I was sitting in church this Sunday, listening to the preacher preach, really listening, then hearing a particular point, then questioning that particular point, then disagreeing with that particular point, then not listening anymore, then hearing another point, then disagreeing with that point, and then asking "why"? Why am I disagreeing with this point? Why did I disagree with that other point? Why questioning these things? And why am I here listening in the first place? Then wondering: "Am I the only one that thinks like this? Am I the only one that has these rabbit trail thoughts during a sermon? How alone am I in my thoughts?"
As you read on, know that I don't write having formulated thoughts and strong conclusions. I write to formulate thoughts and try to reach conclusions. I rarely do though, reach conclusions, but then I realize it's more about the journey than the destination. So now, here is a bit of that journey . . .
We average a little over one hundred people at our services on a Sunday morning. Our church family is bigger than than and if everyone showed up on the same Sunday, we would be about 175 but we get a little over one hundred people a Sunday.
You know, even as I write this, I realize I am falling into the trap of thinking that church is all about the Sunday Morning Service. I know that is false but I do think the Sunday Service is the main source of a church's identity, ours anyway, whether good or bad, and that is why I do feel justified in asking questions about it. So I continue . . .
We have a number of parents who's kids have graduated from High School in the past 5 to 10 years. They make up the majority of our church. The seniors are the next biggest group. After that, we have young families - Parents who are in their thirties, approaching 40. Then, all the people that fit into one minority. That minority consists of one or two or three twenty-somethings, one grade 12 guy, and a few couples like Angela and I. This is a rough estimate. I love these people. At least I think I do. I guess you would have to ask them if I show it and they would tell you, but these people are my family. The thing is, I feel so alone in this crowd. I even think about it while I am leading worship sometimes. I look out and see my church family and I am happy to see them, but I don't see any real friends in this group. I try to be authentic in what I say and do in church but there is nobody here that I can be really real with. Ok, there are a few but not really. But as I lead and think this stuff, I feel alone. Not lonely necessarily, just alone.
Then, I listen to the sermon. And I really try to listen. And I try to listen for God's message, but I usually end up hearing stuff I don't agree with. I end up questioning what the preacher is saying. If I make notes, I am usually writing the difficulty. And this bugs me. Why do I do this? I have nothing personal against the preacher. Am I doing it because deep down I don't want to hear from God? Do I do it cause if I don't want to be changed? Because I don't want to be challenged? Because I am lazy? Or, do I do it because that is a roll God has given me to do? Not find fault in everything, but to question what I am hearing, what we are hearing. Track with me for a second so you don' misunderstand me: I wonder if God has created me in such a way that I ask a lot of questions. I wonder if he created me in such a way that I long to sift through words to find truth.
Right now I am feeling that this thought process is stupid. That it doesn't make any sense. I am going to try a different angle. . .
What bugs me about church is that a whole crowd of people can listen to a message without ever questioning it. What bugs me is that we could be fed some subtle lie, not because the preacher is trying to lead us astray, but maybe because of a poor illustration or a thought that hasn't been fully worked out, and nobody would ever know it. I want to give you an example from this Sunday but I think that would be mean. Because I know this Sunday's preacher and because we talked about the sermon before Sunday, I know what he was trying to say and I agree with it. He just communicated something else, something that could easily mislead people, but it was subtle and maybe no big deal. And it made me realize that what I long for in Church is for the people to approach God and his Scriptures together. That we work through the beatitudes together cause Joe over their might have some insight or something to share that Bill or I need to hear. Or Jane might restate what Bob said so that everyone understands that what Bob really meant. You get what I mean? I am tired of listening to one guy tell us what to do, who to be, what not to do. I guess I am tired of being preached at and I want to experience God together in community. If the preacher would have asked me about some of his points, I would have said: "I agree with you but try saying it this way cause I think if you say it the way it is written here, you will give people the wrong impression of who God is." Or, "maybe you want to think about this point. I know what you are trying to communicate but the text isn't really saying that. Not that it is wrong, but this might not be the place to preach it."
I am not about to give up on our church our anything like that. I am just wondering if I am really alone in my thoughts. I wonder if the majority of our church really likes coming on Sunday to hear one guy give them the formulas for a better life. I wonder if they are comfortable with settling.
I had no idea where this would all go. I am definitely frustrated and wondering where my place is in all this, being a pastor of this church family, but at the same time, I do believe that Jesus loves the church, and that he has faith that the church will be the people to grow his kingdom. And I want to be a part of the growing of God's kingdom.
Saturday, October 14, 2006
The cat is out of the bag!
Graham doesn't do devotions!
Graham is a guy in our church who spoke at our men's breakfast. He was a former pastor of a Baptist Church in Britain. He is on our church elders board. He heads up a bunch of ministries in our church. He is a guy that people naturally revere as a true man of God. And he is. He knows the scriptures in and out and speaks God's truth confidently to our church family and community. It's obvious he is a Spirit led person . . . and he doesn't do devotions! . . . And I think it's awesome . . .
Somehow I got this idea that to please God you need to read your Bible and pray everyday, no questions asked. The big question we all dreaded in Sunday School and later in College (I had a dean who would always ask) "How are you doing with devotions". Talk about a guilt trip.
And this is a prevailing attitude in churches, isn't it? The real spiritual people get up early in the morning to have their quiet time, read 5 chapters of the Bible, and pray for a half hour. And if we actually know someone who does this, we feel less spiritual and feel like we never measure up to God's standard. So whether people know how our devotions are going or not, we always feel bad.
So when Graham says he doesn't do devotions, this is not a new concept for me personally. That is not what I am saying, What I am saying is that I meet and commune with God regularly. I am more of the Henri Nouwen's school of thought that one ought to practice the presence of God. That life should be lived always acknowledging God's presence, listening to Him, talking to Him, allowing His Spirit to guide and direct, etc. I just have always felt alone in this and yes, I still feel guilty for not having regular devotions. I don't believe we should absolutely have a personal devotional time. When we do, we separate our relationship with God with the rest of life. It's like: "ok God, you have my attention for the next 20 minutes. Then I gotta go to work." Then, you pray, which is just usually lifting up a list of desires or complaints, and then God is forgotten. I think that is the kind of Christians we have bread in the last 30 years. I could go on and on about it, and maybe I should, but I am just happy Graham shared this little detail of my life cause if I would have shared the fact that I don't do regular devotions to the men of our church, they would gasp and wonder how I can call myself a pastor, let alone a Christian. I'm thankful for people in our churches that can speak truth more forcefully than our pastors can at times.
Now, I am not looking for an excuse to not read the Bible. Graham went on to say that like Moses, he desires to have a "tent of meeting" where he talks with and hears from God. For Graham, his tent of meeting is his hour long drive to work along the Okanagan lake every morning. For you, it can be a morning walk, while you cook in the kitchen, while you get ready for bed or get ready for the day. For me, it can be in the washroom, in my office, or more often while I drive. It is not always an hour, or half an hour. Mothers with kids don't often have a lot of time on their own to spend meeting with God. Angela gets maybe 5 minutes a day but I know she does, and God 'speaks' to her and she shocks me with what God has put on her heart at times.
I am not suggesting that you quit your daily devotions, quit reading the Bible and praying, but I am strongly suggesting that you can be free from the guilt that drives you to do these things out of duty. That God desires to be with you and meet with you, wherever and whenever you are.
Now Moses used to take a tent and pitch it outside the camp some distance away, calling it the "tent of meeting." Anyone inquiring of the LORD would go to the tent of meeting outside the camp. And whenever Moses went out to the tent, all the people rose and stood at the entrances to their tents, watching Moses until he entered the tent. As Moses went into the tent, the pillar of cloud would come down and stay at the entrance, while the LORD spoke with Moses. Whenever the people saw the pillar of cloud standing at the entrance to the tent, they all stood and worshiped, each at the entrance to his tent. The LORD would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend. Then Moses would return to the camp, but his young aide Joshua son of Nun did not leave the tent. Exodus 33:7-11Now that is the kind of meeting I want to have with God every day.
Friday, October 13, 2006
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Update
Some of you have been asking for updates on a few things I have posted about previously. Before I do that, here are some pictures we took this Thanksgiving Sunday at the beach.
We also went trucking from Monday to Tuesday. All four of us went. This was the first time we have all gone together. We had a great time. Steve & Megan, who we haven't seen in over a year, invited us over for supper while we were in Abbotsford. Turned out to be a Thanksgiving meal with all the fixings! And we had a sweet visit. We got sleep in 2 hour bursts, which was the toughest part of the trip but all in all, a good time. 
This is a pic from the trip. Check out all the photos here.
And always know you can check out all the photos found in my posts on the right under the obvious title "Photos".
Now for the updates:
We have not found any more caches. We have thought about it and visited the website. We would now like to have a GPS.
We removed all the moldy materials from our basement. I really loved cleaning that up (note sarcasm)! We cleaned out a storage room that had some mold and water damage to the contents inside: 10 years of church financial records and other 'Jesus Junk." Harry and Bob washed everything down there with some special mold treatment. Next thing that needs to be done is sealing the concrete. This is a special compound that has to be applied and has to sit on the walls for 28 days. Then a coat of latex paint. Then oil based paint on top of that. Then new carpets. Then, fix the ceiling. Then take all of the stuff that is now in our guestroom and put it back into the new and improved playroom/living room. This needs to be done for Christmas cause my older sister's family is coming to stay with us!
Our VW Westy is still sitting where it was 4 months ago. I did move it once to mow the weeds under it.
I rewrote that thanksgiving letter and submitted it. I haven't hear any feedback. I don't know if that is a good or a bad thing. If you wanna read it, let me know and I can post it. Read the "Thanksgiving" post if you don't know what I am talking about.
I finished reading reUnderstanding Prayer by Kyle Lake but haven't had the opportunity to write a review on it. That will come soon. I am now reading The Younger Evangelicals by Robert Webber. If you haven't caught on by now, I am a slow reader.
I have not harboured bitterness in my heart towards Red Robins. I will have a Whiskey River BBQ Chicken Burger again . . . someday . . . soon . . . I am hungry right now . . . mmmmmm . . . I can almost taste it.
It's gone. The goat. After 2 and half years, I am clean shaven.
I have made no more progress on Glory in the Highest, the choir piece I am arranging. It's my laptops fault. It no longer wants to work with my USB Midi device (allows me to play the parts into the program with a keyboard). I set it up on another computer but that took a bit of time so I should be working on the actual arrangement soon.
And I am not rich in $ yet. I am rich in love though.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Follow Up to "Rich"
This is another example of percieved needs vs. actual needs:
I recieved a newsletter today from Leslie Rolling, a friend of mine who lives and serves Jesus in Haiti. She works with Clean Water For Haiti. Her blog is here.
This is what she said in her letter:
One thing that I often encounter when getting ready to return here [Haiti] is that people will ask me if they can send things, like books, toys or clothes to be given away. We have a policy at CWH to not do this because in a culture where people have gotten so dependant on being given things it can greatly affect any kind of relationship you may want to build with them, hindering the work we are trying to do. In fact, the first English phrase that most Haitian children learn is, "Hey blanc, give me a dollar!"She said it better than I ever could. This was my experience in Haiti. We were told as soon as we got there that giving people money or whatever does not help them. It took me a long to understand this.
I believe there is a slow shift happening with how people are going to be involved with organizations such as ours. For many years the normal apprach to helping would be to ask, "What things can I give?" With the complications that arise from working in different cultures there is an even greater need to entrust those on the ground with the resources (most often financial) necessary to most effectively work in cultures that they are serving. Having resources available to be used where needed is an empowering thing that will allow missionaries and aide workers to work more efficiently and effectively in accomplishing their goal of getting helpt ot where it is needed most, and that is one of the greatest forms of helping.
This is all to say that we need to be careful when we assess a need because as we try to meet it, we may be doing more harm then good.
Glory in the Highest
You may wonder why I don't talk about music much on my blog, seeing as it is very much who I am and what I am employed to do. I don't talk about it much because I have a love/hate relationship with it. These last years, it has weighed heavier on the hate side of the relationship. (Just writing those lines makes me realize that this could be a huge topic for me to blog about - a journey to embark on so to speak). Music is probably my biggest insecurity. I feel a great sense of failure when it comes to music. I kinda know the root of the problem and it is slowly getting better. I have a few things to work through though. Ok, maybe a lot. Do any of you want me to explore this facet of my life on this blog? Or would you rather not hear about it?
Anyway, what I wanted you to know is that I am embarking on a musical journey but not of the magnitude that blogging about my 'love/hate music relationship' would be. Every year the churches in Summerland get together for 'Carol Fest.' It is a night in which every church brings a choir that performs one song for the community. It really is a great night. The pastors all get up and do some sort of performance, usually involving humor. It is usually the hit of the show. The problem with Carol Fest though is that I have to come up with a choir piece, direct it, and then have our church choir perform it. This is stressful on a number of levels. First, the pressure of the perfect song. Who's gunna like it? Who's gunna hate it? Can my choir sing it? Can my band play it? Do I like it? Do I hate it? Then there is the stress of practicing it. Then there is the stress of performing it. If I have to arrange it, then that is a whole new level of stress.
Last year, I rearranged the Barenaked Ladies/Sarah McLaughlin's version of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen." I worked on it for over 12 hours when my laptop hard drive failed. Yeah that was fun. I had to redo it all. Anyway, I arranged the choir parts and played guitar for it. I had our intern conduct it. I had a bass player play. I put CD's together for everyone. On it, I sung all the parts separately, then put them all together. A lot of our people don't read music so I do what I can to help them learn it by ear. All in all, our choir did very well and I was proud of them.
The year before that, we "That little Baby." The year before that, "Light of the stable." I think we used the soundtrack for "Light of the stable" which is always embarrassing, but we had a full band for "That Little Baby." Yeah, I conducted the choir and played guitar. I had to. It was weird, but we did it.
So this year, we are going to do "Glory In The Highest" found on Chris Tomlin's new album that came out last week. It is not a Christmas song, per se, but it is. Listen to it and you will know what I mean. Angela had the vision for it, and I am going to run with it.
I have these grandiose plans for the song but therein lies the problem, I don't know if I can really pull this off. What I want to do is have a full band: piano, keyboards, bass, drums, percussion, acoustic guitar, and electric guitar. Finding people to play the parts isn't the problem. It is notating the parts, or rather, somehow communicating to the musicians what I really want to hear. You may say, duh, that is what music notation is for, and I agree, but I am really rusty at notating parts. I can read music but I don't always know how to write it? Do any of you know how to notate an egg shaker part? See what I mean.
So there is that part. Then there is arranging the choir voices. That's stressful for my mind and ears want everything to be perfect. Then there is the recording the song on CD for the choir. Mostly that is a time issue. Then there is the practices, which actually could be fun. Then the performance.
So this is where I am at: I spent a couple hours this afternoon working on the score layout. I am laying it out like a conductors score so I can see every part at once. I have got the layout for the first half of the song. I have got some of the solo parts notated. I am singing the solo so it that doesn't have to be too accurate. I have some of the electric guitar parts in there too. Basically, I am trying to make a map of the song so I can plot what I want, where I want it. Believe me, it's a lot of work.
The plan is to take this song, not as a choir piece, but as a worship song, let by a worship leader, backed up by a band and choir. Sure, it doesn't really fit the mold but I have decided that since I am a worship leader, not a choir director, I am going to lead worship. What I hear in my head - my plan for what it should sound like - is quite awesome but I am scared that it won't sound the way I want it to. That I won't be able to communicate to the musicians and singers what I want to hear. Ultimately, I'm scared it will fail, flop, and that I will look bad. Call me shallow, whatever.
So you may be saying: "what are you waiting for, get to work!" I will in a sec. Give me a break. I have to have it all done by the time we go to Saskatchewan on the 30th. Oh, I just scared myself. I just realized how soon it is. . .
Just know that this will take up a good chunk of my life this next little while. I am warning you just in case I don't post as often. And you can pray for me too. And pray for my family. Sometimes I can get too focused and that is not good for any of us.
Anyhow, go listen to the song. The whole CD is awesome. Google Chris Tomlin and you'll find it. I'll keep you posted as to how it is going. Maybe we will even record our performance and I could post it. That is not till November . . .
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Rich
There’s a popular bumper sticker that reads “God Bless America,” but hasn’t America already been blessed? It’s easy for us to fall into a mindset of viewing “our” world as “the” world, because it’s all we generally see. We’re constantly bombarded with images of the latest styles and models of everything, and it can easily leave us feeling like what we have isn’t enough because we see people that have even more than us. But how does what we have compare to what most people in the world have? Maybe what we have is enough; maybe it’s more than enough. Maybe God has blessed us with everything we have so we can bless and give to others.I wish I could say I wrote that. I didn't. It describes the latest Nooma Video: Rich. But I sure have been thinking about this topic a lot, especially how it relates to Angela and I in ministry.
I am constantly living in the tension of wanting more and wanting less. On the one hand, I really desire things. I would like a new motorcycle, a paraglider, a house of my own. These are the things I think about when I want things. But the reality that I will not make enough money for those things, as long as I am serving in ministry here, weighs heavy. That weight turns to frustration, then to anger, then to bitterness. But not always, cause the other side is that I am acutely aware of all that I do possess. And most of what I own, I have not earned. Most of what I own has been a gift, one way or another. And having seen poverty first hand (I did mission work in Haiti a while back), I realize I am rich. I do have a lot. Maybe too much.
So I waffle. One day, I want and feel I deserve more stuff. Another day, I feel I should sell all that I own and live more simply, doing what I can to help those less fortunate. But that gets me thinking in another direction. Who are the less fortunate anyway? Usually I think less fortunate people are those that have less than me. A more fortunate person would then have more than me. But how can I gage the less/more fortunate on that scale? I have met people who I would call less fortunate, based on this judgement, but have found a richness in them that only thoes tight with Jesus are known to possess. And I have met more fortunate people who have black empty souls. So, who should we really be helping? Who really has the greatest need?
And that gets me going on another topic. People say that if you see a need, you should do what you can to meet it. I think this is wrong for two reasons: 1) how do we really know what a need really is? We look at poor Hatian children with no shoes and say: "man, we must get thoes poor kids some shoes. They need them!" Did it ever occur to us that maybe they don't need them? That, maybe their feet are conditioned to walk their terrain. That just because we need shoes to make it through life, doesn't mean they do. I am not advocating denying Hatians access to footware, I am just challenging us to rethink our idea of our standard of living and challenging us to realize that our standards are not necessarily right. 2) Jesus did not command us to meet every need we see. He didn't meet every need he saw. Yeah, he healed many and performed many miracles, but he didn't heal everyone. A sermon I heard some 6 years ago still rings sharply in my ear. Hadden Robinson said: "Who is your neighbor? Your neighbor is someone with a need you see and are in a position to meet." I think churches get this wrong. They see a million needs and run a million halfassed programs to try to meet all those needs. We can't. We shouldn't. We should be in tune with our Savior to know which needs are there for us to meet and which needs are not for us to meet.
Man, how did I get here? Anyhow, what I really meant for this post to be was a plug for Rob Bell's Nooma video series. They are challenging, thought provoking, interesting, and just right for a new generation of evangelicals. Check them out. If you don't want to buy them, you can see some of them on youtube or google video. Just do a search for Nooma. I look forward to seeing this latest video called "Rich".
And about all that I just said, I am not looking for excuses to not be a servant, to not meet needs, and to justify my worldly wealth. Ok, maybe I am, but I know they are not excuses for that and God challenges me daily in all these areas. Sometimes I do well, I think, and other times I am left wanting. I don't want to be left wanting.
dr. seuss meets mr. temptation
dr. seuss meets mr. temptation
i think there's a thought that i thought was true,
though a naughty thought, i thought it grew,
when i thought the thought
and my thoughts were caught
by the naughty thought that i knew.
now, a naughty thought that starts to grow
may cause other naughty thoughts to flow.
and so i have fought
with the thought it has brought
other thoughts that i ought not to know.
the thought is so tempting but yet i dread,
the thought of that thought inside my head.
so, i think that i ought
to stop thinking that thought,
and start writing a poem
instead.
Steven James from Story p. 121
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Church: Why Bother?
I think I found that book I was looking for on metaphors for the Kingdom of God, only it was not what I thought it was. This is a great book but the metaphors I was looking for are metaphors for church, not God Kingdom, although, I think the two are similar and I will still share this with my senior pastor, after all, I stole the book off his shelf.
In any case, I'll leave you with some of Yancey's thoughts:
My favorite definition of the church comes from Karl Barth, who said, "[The Church] exists . . . to set up in the world a new sign which is radically dissimilar to [the world's] own manner and which contradicts it in a way which is full of promise." . . . For this reason, church is worth the bother. p. 40, 41.He later talks about a bunch of church metaphors but concludes with the image of the church being the "body" from 1 Corinthians chapters 12 - 14 saying: "To me, the most important lesson from the body is this: we - you and I - form the primary representation of God's presence in the world. p. 68. "
Monday, October 02, 2006
Choose your own adventure
We drove up to Kelowna to pick up a book we had ordered a while back. While there, we decided to take the boys swimming. In between, we decided to call ahead to Red Robins to order lunch to be picked up. Angela made the call: "2 Whisky River BBQ Chicken burgers, please, both without tomatoes." Pause. Angela: "Do you want me to leave my name for the pickup? Ok, bye" First warning flag that we didn't see until after: the girl didn't feel the need to take our name.
Have you ever had a Whisky River BBQ Chicken burger? Well, I have been known to say that if I were on death row and had to choose my last meal, this is what I would choose. I would almost die for it.
So I pull up to Red Robins. I get out of the car. I go inside. I am salivating. I am greeted and I say that I am here for a pickup. Now get this. This is what the girl says: "Oh, I wasn't able to punch in your order because I didn't know if you wanted chicken or beef." WHAAAAT???
A zillion thoughts go through my mind one of which is: I distinctively heard Angela order the Whisky River BAR - B - Q CHICKEN BURGER! I didn't even know they made a beef one.
She asks me what we wanted. I said: "I didn't know you even had a beef one." She said: "yeah, uh, so chicken or beef? If you want to wait we can do up your order now." I said: "I am in a hurry and we are going to eat somewhere else." I walked out
I call this choose your own adventure because once I got to the car, I thought of a pile of things I could have done or said to her. I was disappointed that all I did was walk out. We really wanted those flavors in our mouths. What should I have done? If I were an bold, angry person, I would have asked to see her manager and demanded that we be given a free lunch due to this girl's incompetence. If they didn't have call display, she could have dialed *69. And if she would have taken our names like Angela suggested, she could have found our number and called to confirm. I thought of boycotting Red Robins but their burgers are too good. I even thought of backing the car through their front doors. No I didn't but I am just trying to convey the disappointment. What would you have done? What ending would you have chosen for this story?
We went to the mall's food court. I bought two cheese dogs from Orange Julius. Angela bought fries from New York Fries. Angela tried my cheese dog. She was embarrassed to say that she really liked it (she grew up on a cattle ranch) and ate 3/4 of it. It was no Whisky River BBQ Chicken Burger but the melted cheese, onions, relish and ketchup on the hotdog in a steamed bun took a bit of the sting away.
Mackenzie, Lukas & Angela in the pool at the Parkinson Rec Centre992
I rode 992 km this weekend! This was the longest ride I have done ever! It was sweet!
At a men's breakfast a couple of weeks ago, Dan (a guy from my church) asked me if I was going to Promise Keepers. I told him that I was undecided cause of the money factor and a few other factors. The conversation carried on to other things. Just as we were leaving, Dan said: "Chris, I come from a Christian family and have brothers and sisters in ministry. I know a little of what it's like and how hard it is to make it financially sometimes. I will pay for you to go to Promise Keepers and I want you to take my bike!" I was shocked. I teared up a bit and gave him a hug. I was genuinely grateful! The decision was made for me.
About 16 of us left last Friday morning. Six of us took bikes including my friend Robby who rode on the back of mine. I rode a 2006 Honda Shadow 750 with only 5000 kms on it. Now it has six! It was a sweet ride! A little cool at times but the days were beautiful and the scenery was stunning! Robby & I were both plugged into my ipod. He provided the soundtrack for our journey. He pulled out some Collective Soul that brought me back to High School. I heard Tanya Chua which I liked. We rode to Spokane WA for the conference.
I don't really feel like writing about the conference right now. I'm just not in the mood. But the highlights for me were the ride, of course, hanging out with the guys and chatting, taking pictures in the park, and sweet talks with Robby. Here are some pics from the weekend:
The guys before we left
The clock tower in the park
Robby in the clock tower
