The Still, Small Voice of Love

Another Nouwen Meditation:

Many voices ask for our attention. There is a voice that says, "Prove that you are a good person." Another voice says, "You'd better be ashamed of yourself." There also is a voice that says, "Nobody really cares about you," and one that says, "Be sure to become successful, popular, and powerful." But underneath all these often very noisy voices is a still, small voice that says, "You are my Beloved, my favor rests on you." That's the voice we need most of all to hear. To hear that voice, however, requires special effort; it requires solitude, silence, and a strong determination to listen.

That's what prayer is. It is listening to the voice that calls us "my Beloved."

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Overcoming Life's Obstacles - Part 2

Again, if you are looking for a fluffy feel good story, look elsewhere.

I overcame an obstacle today: I made it up the T-Bar lift on a snowboard!

Yup, that's right! I made it up the T-Bar lift 4 times and I did not fall off! Coming down the mountain is another story but despite the falls, that's the easy part.

Back story: every year, I take our youth to Apex to do some night skiing on Friday nights. It is super cheap on Fridays. Anyhow, having mastered skiing (aka: I can make it down the hill without killing or injuring myself and actually enjoy it), I decided I would be "hip" and learn to snowboard. For the past two years, I never made it past the bunny hill. I tried the T-Bar but until tonight, I couldn't get 10 meters up the hill without falling. And just so you don't get the wrong idea: the fact that I used the word "hip" shows that I'll never be hip, or whatever today's equivalent of "hip" is. And when I said "for the past two years", it's not like I have been trying for two years to snowboard. In fact, I have only gone snowboarding 3 evenings out of those two years so relative to the time I have spent away from the slopes, I have picked up the skills at an alarming pace.

Tonight, on the fourth and last run, I did not fall. It was beautiful. I became one with the board and it was as if I floated down that heavenly slope. It could probably be likened to an out of body experience. I wouldn't know. I've never had one. But it was bliss.

I am on a roll with overcoming obstacles. What should I try to overcome next?

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Overcoming Life's Obstacles - Part 1

If you are expecting a fluffy inspirational story, this is not it. It is, however, a story of overcoming obstacles.

The obstacle: A Rubik's cube.

That's right folks, I set my mind to the task of solving the Rubik's cube. I can now consistently solve it in under 2 minutes. It took me about a day to learn.

I'm looking around now for a good speed cube. I hope to buy one pretty soon. I want to get faster at it. It would be cool if I could solve it in 30 seconds or less.

So, if I bought a good speed cube, I'd put the one I have right now on my shelf next to my Evangecube.

I am wondering now if I'll be less effective in advancing God's kingdom, now that I can solve the Rubik's cube. I had a vision recently that I was on an airplane. Because I couldn't listen to my ipod until we were in the air, I decided to pull out my Rubik's cube. The person next to me, with a chuckle, asked if I knew how to solve thing to which I promptly replied: "no I can't but I've got an Evangecube and I've mastered that, wanna see it?" And by time we landed, Angels were dancing and singing in heaven.

Now that is not an option.

That said, if you know of anyone on this green earth who has decided to give their lives to God because of an Evangecube, please do let me know. If there is someone out there who truly has come to God because of one of those, I'll never mock out Jesus Junk again!

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Ok, so I am not in bed yet . . .

You may have heard some rumors about a guy who can speed cube blindfolded. Because of my arduous poking around, I can confirm that rumor:

His name is Tyson Mao. He has held the world record at one time for speed cubing. He is the dude that taught Will Smith how to speed cube for his latest movie: The Pursuit of Happiness. (I can't wait to see it). Anyway, here is a video of him doing it blind folded: Video.

Now I get to go to bed.

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What else would keep me up this late?

So normally I would be fast asleep right now. Normally. Tonight isn't normal, however.

Enter: Obsession.

Yes, that's right. I have a new obsession: learning to solve the Rubik's cube.

So I am a nerd . . .


Backstory: last night, one of my youth found a Rubik's cube in the church kitchen. Discussions ensued. Egos grew. I figured I could solve the thing by the next day. I told everyone so. They put me up to it. How could I be so stupid.

With the help of the Internet, I discovered that there are 3, 000, 000, 000 possible configurations a methods to solving the thing. I could handle maybe 2, 000, 000, 000 but not much more than that. Still, I purposed to solve it. . . with the help of my online teachers. . . .

First things first: I had to take it apart to see how it worked. Easy enough. But then I learned that if you don't put it together solved, you have a 93% chance of making the cube unsolvable. I prefer the solvable kind and so I followed those simple directions. Thus, in my hands lay a solved Rubik's cube. As fun as it would be to show my challengers a completed puzzle, I would be lying, and that is not so good for a pastor, so I told the truth.

My new intern proceeded to mess the whole thing up horribly. This became the challenge of the day.

So with the "aid" of some websites that I won't disclose, not that you couldn't find them using our friend Google, I tackled the puzzle.

I made some real progress throughout the day: numerous bathroom breaks, the drive to meet a friend (not recommended in high traffic areas), lunch with my family, etc.

Well, long story short (or rather, shorter), I got as far as I could go late this evening. Feeling dumb and defeated, I plugged my current configuration into a Rubik's Cube solver. The program found a solution before I fully released the pressure of my index finger on the left mouse button. This further heightened my humiliation. When I saw that the solution required 50 moves, I felt less dumb.

I completed the cube at 1:28am, Friday morning. It took my 100, 000 moves of the day plus the solver's 50. I am able to retain a little of my pride.

Now the real question becomes: will this obsession be laid to rest as I go to bed in the next few minutes or will it consume my every thought? We'll see what the morning brings.

In the meantime, check out this video of some dude speed cubing. I figure in a couple of days, if I dedicate my time to honing my mad skillz, I'll be giving this dude a run for his money!

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Fruit vs. Success

I don't feel I'm all that successful. Most of the time, I feel that what I do or who I am as a pastor is of little value to anyone. I know this is false but I think you can understand how easy we believe "the lies".

Well, lately, God has shown Angela and I fruit. He has shown us some things that remind us why we are in Summerland serving our church. Thank-you God.

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Angela and I were enjoying "counting our blessings" and, how do you say it, "gazing at the fruit in the orchard of our ministry" one morning this past week and were feeling quite encouraged. Not to say we were looking back and seeing what we had done, but what we were seeing was the "this is why I (God) want you here in Summerland - this is what I am going to do with you" stuff. It was good.

It's funny how the goodness of those moments can end as soon as I step foot in my office - especially the first time since a nice long holiday. Well, amidst the returning feeling of "what good am I to God and the world while working here in my office", Angela sent me this:

Fruits That Grow in Vulnerability

There is a great difference between successfulness and fruitfulness. Success comes from strength, control, and respectability. A successful person has the energy to create something, to keep control over its development, and to make it available in large quantities. Success brings many rewards and often fame. Fruits, however, come from weakness and vulnerability. And fruits are unique. A child is the fruit conceived in vulnerability, community is the fruit born through shared brokenness, and intimacy is the fruit that grows through touching one another's wounds. Let's remind one another that what brings us true joy is not successfulness but fruitfulness.
Henri Nouwen: Bread for the Journey

So right now, I am encouraged by this. At this moment, I want my life to be fruitful rather than successful. God knows I suck at trying to be in control . . .

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