Fruit vs. Success

I don't feel I'm all that successful. Most of the time, I feel that what I do or who I am as a pastor is of little value to anyone. I know this is false but I think you can understand how easy we believe "the lies".

Well, lately, God has shown Angela and I fruit. He has shown us some things that remind us why we are in Summerland serving our church. Thank-you God.

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Angela and I were enjoying "counting our blessings" and, how do you say it, "gazing at the fruit in the orchard of our ministry" one morning this past week and were feeling quite encouraged. Not to say we were looking back and seeing what we had done, but what we were seeing was the "this is why I (God) want you here in Summerland - this is what I am going to do with you" stuff. It was good.

It's funny how the goodness of those moments can end as soon as I step foot in my office - especially the first time since a nice long holiday. Well, amidst the returning feeling of "what good am I to God and the world while working here in my office", Angela sent me this:

Fruits That Grow in Vulnerability

There is a great difference between successfulness and fruitfulness. Success comes from strength, control, and respectability. A successful person has the energy to create something, to keep control over its development, and to make it available in large quantities. Success brings many rewards and often fame. Fruits, however, come from weakness and vulnerability. And fruits are unique. A child is the fruit conceived in vulnerability, community is the fruit born through shared brokenness, and intimacy is the fruit that grows through touching one another's wounds. Let's remind one another that what brings us true joy is not successfulness but fruitfulness.
Henri Nouwen: Bread for the Journey

So right now, I am encouraged by this. At this moment, I want my life to be fruitful rather than successful. God knows I suck at trying to be in control . . .