Rest

"Our hearts are restless until we find our rest in Him." Augustine. Confessions I.1

I have a lot of questions about rest. What is true rest? What is the rest that Augustine is talking about? I would assume it is a heart that is settled, or satisfied in being God's, in being His beloved. Something like that anyway. Is this rest something that is final? Do people who find this rest in Him always have it or does it come and go? Cause if I find it, I want to have it for ever.

I am scared of this rest, I think. I am scared that when I find it, that when my heart is no longer restless, I'll have no more ambitions or desires. Like right now I am thinking of my desire to be a paraglider pilot. Who knows when or if it happens but my life long dream has always been to fly and paragliding is the cheapest and a very exciting way to do it. I wonder if I desire to do it to fill some sort of void in life. That my desire to do it is an attempt too fill a void that only God can fill. I desire to have a rested heart but I am wondering if this is something I gotta give up in order to find my rest in Him. I hope not. I hope that I can have both. I am just not sure. But I wonder.

And I wonder why people who love God still seem to have something missing. The words to U2's "I still haven't found what I am looking for" are running through my head. Ok, I just re-read this paragraph and I should not have said "people who love God." Really, it is me who feels this way, that I still desire more of something. And I don't think I am alone. I think I desire more fulfillment, or happiness, or stuff. I don't know. I think this is my internal struggle between my "flesh" and God.

... I just took a couple of minutes to search the scriptures for the rest theme. Interesting truths in Hebrews:

1Therefore, since the promise of entering his rest still stands, let us be careful that none of you be found to have fallen short of it. 2For we also have had the gospel preached to us, just as they did; but the message they heard was of no value to them, because those who heard did not combine it with faith. 3Now we who have believed enter that rest, just as God has said,
"So I declared on oath in my anger,
'They shall never enter my rest.' "And yet his work has been finished since the creation of the world. 4For somewhere he has spoken about the seventh day in these words: "And on the seventh day God rested from all his work."5And again in the passage above he says, "They shall never enter my rest."

6It still remains that some will enter that rest, and those who formerly had the gospel preached to them did not go in, because of their disobedience. 7Therefore God again set a certain day, calling it Today, when a long time later he spoke through David, as was said before:
"Today, if you hear his voice,
do not harden your hearts."8For if Joshua had given them rest, God would not have spoken later about another day. 9There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; 10for anyone who enters God's rest also rests from his own work, just as God did from his. 11Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will fall by following their example of disobedience. (NIV)

I have a lot to learn about rest. It's been promised. That's sweet. Sounds to me like disobedience is a disqualifier. And sounds like it is important to God: "make every effort." I have experienced God's rest a few times. Really only one experience comes to mind at the moment. But it was sweet. Oh, and I think that rest is different than peace cause I have experienced God's peace a lot.

In a couple of weeks, Angela and I are going to spend a couple of nights away at a condo with two other pastor couples/friends of ours. One of the wives is going to share a few of her thoughts and a bit of her journey with rest and Sabbath. She is going to share a bit from Mark Buchanon's book: The Rest of God. I am looking forward to hear her story and then or course, reading the book for myself. Angela and I think we will read it together. We have heard that it is great.

So yeah, my heart is restless. I have found God, that is not the issue. It's that I want to find rest in Him.